Why did you call me?
What did you want me to see?
Is there something I should hear you tell me?
Deep in the forest
Away from many to see
The pureness of your color
Pulled my soul next to thee
Like an angelic light
You floated above a grassy sea
Not allowing to be overshadowed
By rows of giant aspen trees
When I saw you
My heart rejoiced with glee
But my soul couldn’t hear
What you had to say to me.
I’m back at my place
admiring your beauty
And as I sit
I hear you speak into me.
“You are much like me. You’ve been place to grow among well-known and talented writers, who overshadow you in your mind.
Learn from me. Don’t let that stop you from revealing what you were created to be. Your uniqueness is the light which will draw others to your stories.
Develop them and place them out there for any soul to read. Those who are meant to be touch will carry your words close to their heart.
Once they’re home, they too will know how important they are among their tall trees and grassy sea.
Let’s hope, they will also believe in their light which pulls others to come close enough and reveal who they have been created to be.”
Since I posted this small article above, on Facebook, many questions related to doubt, insecurities, lack of confidence or ability filled my mind. Thinking, they wouldn’t bother me, I hushed them with another task in hopes to write on my novel soon. But I didn’t write anymore.
What I realized, was that those questions became white noise, which placed my confidence and creativity to sleep. Time ticked away and before I knew, my husband called to tell me he was on his way home from work.
Where did my writing time go? What did I do with those hours? Did I really fall asleep?
It’s not that I actually slept, but my scars of past failures combine with the white noise kept me believing I needed more exercise to warm up. Plus the desire to visit my followers on Instagram and Facebook distracted me from getting to my actual writing.
I’ve discovered, that my abilities and strengths lie among my failures and insecurities. As new failures come which will confirm my insecurities, they will overshadow my desire to improve and overtake my tenacity to do my job well. Unless, I keep writing. My writing trims away those thoughts. which, I know they will never go away.
The question is, will I listen to the cries of my insecurities or will I place them in the corner while I work. Usually, when I don’t pay attention to them, the cries diminish and the white noise is replaced by the music of doing. I have developed a method which work for me, on most days.
My routine is much like how I taught High School Math. Have a warm up exercise, which is my Instagram and Facebook postings. Teach the lesson, for me is review what I’ve learn as I add to the plot of the scene or chapter. Then I practice, which is the actual writing. Before my writing section ends, I review- edit and plan for tomorrow by jotting one word ideas, sentences or an actual paragraph.
What I’ve found out is, my abilities are always among the false insecurities. But they don’t yell, not until I sit and write. Then I hear, “See, you are more than capable. You already believe, now it’s time to sit and do the work without distractions. Unless, the distraction is use to your advantage.”
How can a distraction be use to assist my writing? Distractions are weights for my mind. It exercises the mental muscle as I apply what my mind sees. A concept develops or a feeling emerges.
Photos, is my ultimate distraction. They unearth ideas which bring alive emotions. But, at the same time, they consume my creative juices for edits capture my interest instead of allowing myself to write.
What keeps you from doing what you were created to do?
Do you know what you were created for?
What I was created for has changed through out my life. I became a teacher, a wife, a mother and now a writer/photographer. I am all these today. How did I find out I was created to write? Well, events took my breath away or cause a tear to roll down my cheek and I began to write about what I felt inside of me. But, it came in the form of story telling. Now I’ve learn that showing is much better than telling. Beside no one wants to be told what to do. But showing is teaching.
If you don’t know what you were created to do, start the search with what stirs your soul and/or what stings your heart like a splinter that can’t be removed unless you create.
Oh, by the way, doing is creating.
It matter not if one writes, takes photos, cooks, lift weights, walks or laughs with one’s family. It’s not all about a finish product like a blog or a picture. It’s the process of doing something that builds and changes.
It’s about living and giving as one receives.
What have you received lately? Nothing?
Give of yourself and you will receive.
Did I hear you say, “I have nothing to give?”
You have your breath. Ask yourself, how am I to use this bit of energy I have today?
Will it be used in a positive manner or negative? It’s our chose, no one else.
Keep in mind abilities are found among our insecurities.