Giving Up or Letting Go?

GIVING UP OR LETTING GO?

Woke up with the phrase, “thoughts can kill you or heal you,” and it wouldn’t leave me alone.

Seeking undestanding, I ask the Lord, “is this a theme for a story or something else?”

As I spent my quiet time, the phrase return and it brought another idea along. Not finding the proper words to put on this feeling, I looked for a photo to help me identify what the Holy Spirit was telling me.

When I saw the leaf, a question formed, “Is the leaf giving up or letting go?”

Knowing how God works and moves me or should I say pushes me to act upon what He sees in me, I knew a reminder was being handed for my mind.

Will I be giving up what has been done in me? Or letting go and accept the change which is in hand?

Many times, I fight thoughts which push me to give up and let the dream die.

It’s a real, true struggle within me!!!

One which produces melancholy even after workouts, walks and being out in nature for hours. Usually God wakes my spirit and soon I get myself moving by doing my duties of laundry and cleaning or paying bills.

My self talk goes something like this, “Lidia, you’re a grown woman, just keep taking steps. How else can you be a witness of what you’ve said you are in Christ?”

Why am telling you this? Because I’m not alone fighting a battle which we’ve been told it’s won. Yet, no relief has come. It diverted and missed us. Well, it feels like it has for what ever reason.

Instead of standing strong against the enemy. I do as he wants, be in the front battle zone fighting for my right to be who God said I am.

For many of us, the war exist in our head more than in our heart.

We struggle with thoughts which are killing us, inside out. Once our will is done with, we have no reason to exist. Meditate on God words, are daily pills, but our thoughts of redemption and healing remain dried up. (Rom. 12:2)

Then the dagger hits home, Hope is for others, not for me.

I shared my reoccurring waking thought with a friend over coffee this morning. I mention that I wasn’t sure if it was for a story. She suggested to write a story about twins, one with the name Ican’t and the other Ican.

After she left, I had my quiet time. It was them when I saw these twins, joined by one heart, in me.

Who will win?

The one who will remain standing strong and walk in the newness of who she has become.

Is it easy? Nope. I will confront that solid steep mountian God told me about.

It will seem unclimbable before me, but with the Lord’s help, I will get to the other side which is labeled, “accomplishement.”

Not sure what you’re struggling and doing battle with today, but be assured you are not alone even though it’s a lonesome road.

Today will you chose with me to dwell and meditate on the Victory which the Lord conquered for us through His resurrection?

Let’s encourage each other today as we stand with the banner of victory on our spear then walk in faith on what has already been done and accomplished in us. (Heb. 3:13)

You maybe on a different road, but we’re facing the same enemy. Let’s keep in mind the enemy is not only finished but CONQUERED! (John 19:30)

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Oh How I Miss My Artist Friends

As the Ocean

would be dry

without the sea,

that’s how

I find

myself

without you,

the poet, the storyteller,

the artist, the reporter.

the thinker, the dreamer

 

Life captured me

took me from you

I’ve returned

now and then

But, only for a glimpse

Maybe, just maybe

this time

I’ll stay a bit longer

Maybe, just maybe

the chains

of inferiority

incompetent

imperfection

won’t pull me

away again

 

Enslaving feelings

keep me in the dark

corner of my soul

Away from you

Oh, how I missed

your printed words

your rhythmic sound

Your unique ideas

Your provoking art

Your rainbow heart

 

You, my friends

are  the missing

colors of my

creative playtime

Your unique art

gives me a key to

become an ocean

filled with a sea,

rejuvenating ideas

deep inside of me

 

 

 

A Sunrise Relationship Connection

“Grandpa at what time will we see the sun?”

“Well Grandson, it depends where we are standing.”

The grandson blew into his cupped hands, then asked, “What do you mean?”

“You see, if you stand far from the mountains, like we are now, we’ll see the sun sooner. But, if we were at the base of those mountains, we won’t see the sun until it cleared their peaks.”

“But Grandpa, Nana said that the sun rises at the same time.”

Grandpa patted his grandson on the head, chuckled and then responded, “Nana is right. The sun rises at a specific time every day. But if a mountain is right before us, it will block the sun from our sight.”

“Oh, I see.” The grandson cuddled in his own coat as the Alaska’s cold, morning air touched his skin. He then releases a deep sigh.

“What thoughts are you wrestling with, grandson?”

“I was wondering, if the reason why my parents can’t see God like we do, is because of where they are standing.”

His grandpa wraps his arm around the Grandson’s shoulders, “You are wise for an eight-year-old.”

“Grandpa, you’re the wise one, for you bring me out here where God teaches man about him and ourselves.”

“How did you arrive to this conclusion?”

“By watching and listening to you.”

“Hmmm.” Grandpa remain quiet for a while before releasing a deep breath.

The grandsons watched the cloud of breath float up and reshaped itself until it vanished from sight.

“Grandpa, did you just tell God a prayer?”

“I did.”

“What did you pray for?”

“That you and I will have many more mornings to witness the sunrise. And, for you to keep reminding me of the important things one must do. I also asked the Lord to help me stand where I will always see God so that He can shine through me.”

“I will ask the same things.” The Grandson released three puffs of breath and watched them transformed shapes as they floated to the heavenly sky. “Grandpa, the sun!”

Grandpa moved away from the rail, took the keys of the truck out of his pocket and told his Grandson, “the sun rays have spread making this Grandpa and Grandson connection time, extra special. Now let’s go to the mountains and explore.”

Tuesday Photo Challenge by Dutch goes the Photo ~ Connections

Worship In My Highs and My Lows

 

Out loud

or within

I cry out

in praise

and

at times

in pain,

either way

I choose to

worship a

Deity who

was, is and

continues

to be

 

 

With such knowledge

I face the world

whether it maybe

a pleasant sunny day

or a dark stormy night

with a certainty

of a holy assurance

I’ll walk as

I face my fears

calming my breath

when nightmares

of my past appear

 

 

 

Although

my knees

give in from

unbelief and

my face falls

to my feet

I will climb

the steeple

of prayer

to arrive

at the cross

where my

help comes from

 

All I need to do is worship.

Frank Tuesday’s photo challenge: Worship

When I’m Weak, I’m Strong

There are days, which I’m more than ready to go full stride with my writing without telling myself, “believe, believe in your giftedness.”

Then there are those days, like yesterday, which all I could do was to muster enough will power and not get lost on the path which I’ve been on many times. The path which accomplishes nothing.

I pushed myself to move, only to have felt the dragging of my steps in familiar groves. Fear of stumbling in the old rut of ‘lack of trust’ or twist my ankle from a previous deep footprint of ‘doubt’ entered my heart. I struggled all day and didn’t return to the road of progress, which I had hoped to be on.

On days like yesterday, I normally repeat to myself, Lord, I believe, please, oh please help my unbelief. Honestly, this prayer didn’t even cross my mind. For some reason I kept expecting something bad to happen. I couldn’t stay focus on anything long enough to do or accomplish what I long, to write, to be creative or even go for a walk. My body became fatigued. All I wanted was to return to bed and sleep. By the end of the day, I was exhausted.

Today, the verse about, “My Grace is sufficient,” came to mind.

My spirit remarked with sarcasm, really Lord? I don’t think so.

I went ahead and looked up the verse, for I didn’t recall the whole passage.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

When I read, “three times,” I felt my spirit harden. It told me, “I’m not asking three times. It should have been taken care of the first time, we asked “three times.” Why must the wait have to occur, every time? Why? I’m tire of waiting.”

For some reason, a spirit of pessimism overcame me.

I wondered, where in the heck did, I pick up this spirit? Or did it just floated my way and decided I was a perfect candidate? Well, I don’t know. But, wanting to get some writing done today, I thought I should do as Paul wrote, “boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Maybe then this spirit would leave me, and my mindset be on Whom and what I believe God can do through me.

It’s difficult to write when low self-esteemed conversations arise over shadowing my creativity, and questions of my true ability drown the little confidence I hold inside. The idea of being a good writer quickly slips from my grasp, when my weakness of spelling, grammar and punctuation face me each time. Plus, the fact that the proper words I want to use don’t fruition quickly, only concepts float in my mind which frustrate my heart. Last, the critique in me wins more often than I care to admit, leaving me defeated.

Often, I ask myself, “why do you need to be perfect and want man’s approval when you have both in Christ?”

My mentors’ advice return, “write Lidia, just write. Don’t worry about the errors, go ahead and tell the story. Later, return and rewrite with the help of others.”

But I don’t want others to see my mistakes. Which in itself is another weakness of mine. Yikes! Why Lord, why do you fill my head with stories that I can’t finish and at times not even start? I don’t understand, why you gifted me with this talent of story-teller?

The Lord reminded me of His Grace as I struggle with the assurance of what God sees in me.

With truth, I responded, “Yes, Lord. I know your grace is sufficient.”

Then, I heard in my spirit my Lord say, “Lidia why don’t you do what Paul did, delight in weaknesses, in insult, in hardships in persecutions, in difficulties. It’s not a delight of your weakness, but while you are in the state of being weak, delight in the knowledge that my grace is sufficient and allow the errors to be made. In other words, trust me as you obey and make mistakes. All you need to do is believe Paul’s words. Believe, when Lidia is weak, then Lidia is strong.”

Truthfully Lord, it makes no scenes to me. How in my weakness, can I be strong? How will your grace be sufficient for me? I do understand your power, yet not how it is made perfect in my weakness. Could you allow the Holy Spirit to help me understand your “grace?”

I heard my Lord say, “My Grace is many things, but here it refers to dexterity. Through my Grace you will receive the ability for the artistry which I’ve blessed you with. When you face the struggles, challenges, insults, difficulties and persecutions, I will give you the tact require to be strong as you hold on and accomplish each story.

Believe in me, in spite of your disbelief in yourself. Write and accomplish the stories.”

Lord, bring me back to this lesson when my will doesn’t want to obey, my spirit toys with disbelief and when self struggles with my old ways of thought for they return only to taunt me. I don’t want the struggle of my weaknesses, but I do desire for your divine power to be seen in me and through me so that many will trust in you.

Therefore, I will learn to say, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Like A Reflection

 

LIKE A REFLECTION ~ Let’s keep this verse stuck on the mirror of our souls.

“. . . being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians 1:6 NKJV

When we feel like:
failures,
weaklings,
worthless,
undeserving,
unworthy
of God’s goodness
we can recall where to find the confidence to put on the righteousness which God provided.

Don’t forget, ignore or overlook what has been bought for you, your soul’s freedom. It came with a high price and given as a free gift to anyone who professes Jesus as Lord.

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Rom. 10:9-10

Don’t leave your beautiful, spiritual, royal outfit laying on the bed or hung in the closet, unworn.

Today, is the day to change your soul’s cloths, for we are sons and daughters of a High King.

While you workout your salvation, keep quoting Philippians 1:6.

Jesus has risen! For you! For me! For all!

Let’s not place Him back in the grave in thought or in heart.

We don’t have to wait for Easter to proclaim and walk in truth.

Think and say, “HE HAS RISEN! And I will be made complete!”

In Love With The Sea

With your sways you sooth my soul to near you

With your roars you entice my heart to feel you

With your rolling waves you engulf me to be with you

With your gentle release you leave me wanting you more