What I’ve learned

What I’ve learned

How to declutter. Release your fisted hand, let go and walk away. Do it again and again even if it hurts. Otherwise, you will bring a replacement on your way-back home. Philippians 3:13-14

How to mend relationships. Talk less. Listen as if you were the one talking. Give advice only if they ask. Pray for them silently as you listen. Also pray for yourself not to bud in on God’s business, not until he gives you clarity on what to do or say. Galatians 6:2

How to improve self talk. This is an on going process. In the meantime repeat God’s truths over yourself. Don’t give the microphone to the voices of your insecurities, fears and doubts. Or they will shout lies over truths. Mark 11:22-24

How to get motivated. I don’t know. Maybe, you can help me. But, I think it has more to do with wanting to workout the change, the letting go, the listening and praying and improving self talk than motivation. Because, once the block has been removed, the desire to get things done will get done. What has been piled up in our home,  on our desk or in our heart will get cleared. Romans 12:2

How to keep believing in God. I look back as I step forward. Why? Because I’ve see where he has gotten me out of, provided for me, and raised me from. As I take steps forward, doubt, fear, insecurities, worry, anxiety, disbelief in the present moment diminish. I then will not loose my reliance on Whom it has been placed on. If I begin to feel my knees weakening, I call for his hand, my Lord’s hand, Jesus the keeper of my soul. He keeps me from returning and reliving hurt, pain, misery not all caused by self. His Holy Spirit reminds me of my new qualities and strengths. I then can walk the tight rope, up high with a balance of truths and confidence. Romans 8:28

Believe me, days still come with fog and darkness. I do find myself crawling on my belly. Yet, I don’t loose sight of my belief in God, His son and the Holy Spirit. I know, soon aid will come replenishing my soul and setting my feet on high ground. It will happen again and again and again as long as I keep calling him, Jesus, my Savior and Lord. Joshua 1:9

How I keep my eyes focus on what is yet to come. What is coming brings change. Change is a road, a path, an open door, an opportunity to move forward.  Returning to where once I had been has been for the purpose to celebrate the growth, forgive what still hinders, take back the good I left behind and be thankful for the lessons learned. Philippians 4:6-7

What have you learned?

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Put Up With One Another

Pray Pardon Prosper

“Put up with one another. Forgive. Pardon any offenses against one another, as the Lord has pardoned you, because you should act in kind.” Colossians 3:13 (The Voice)

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To put up with one another, one has to have a triple tune-up; in the heart, of the mind and from the attitude. In order to get the tune up, one must go to the best adjuster. I only know of one, Jesus.

Many times we need more than a tune-up to put up with those we love.The following also may need to be looked at:

1) A total overhaul. There could be major repairs to be considered which have been overlooked for years. Like years, 10, 20, 30 maybe even since childhood.

2) A quick refurbish. They may only be the need of an adjustment. The stress from a new job, newborn baby, low bank account, high credit card bill. Or just plainly the stress of marriage, parenting, or any other relationship along with the stresses mention above.

3) A costly remodel. This means a major fix up. What once worked is no longer working. People grow, mature, change revealing the need of new ways to deal with the present circumstances while others are stagnant, stuck, stubborn. It’s costly because most of us like the way we deal with others and feel the other person should change and not us. Well, think again! This is where it will cost, when we are the ones who must be remodel and we aren’t willing. God help us!

4) A humble Patch up. Restoring is when something worked well, but now it has a tare, a crack, or a hole which been over looked. Time and wearing down caused some wear and tear. Now they’re noticeable with the need to be covered with the same agreements. Together the loop holes must be recognized allowing proper time for healing and restoration.

5) A true revise. Reworking is going back and starting all over again. But, the start begins with a changed plan. Starting again with the same agreements, which didn’t work to begin with, will only produce more frustrations. A revision will have to be made or the error will occur again and again. Honesty is best, even if it’s fearful. It’s pricey to be frank.

Relationships are hard work. Maintaince is a must. Tune ups of ourselves have to be made.

Sometimes, we just have to put ourselves in the shop with God and tell Him do the works on me.

We may need to take a sabbatical.

All this to say, forgive, forgive again, forgive seventy times seven.

Actually forgive as often as the person who turned the heat up in the realtionship to 80 while you were already sweating anger and frustration.

By the way, forgive yourself for storming to the person holding your dial.

Cause and effect goes both ways. They hurt you. You hurt them. Come together to God, if possible. Be pardon, then pardon. Remember we’re sinner just as much as the person who raise the heat on our thermostat.

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.

Pardon. Pardon. Pardon.

Release. Release. Release.

So, put up with one another, as you are kind with your words, your actions and in your secret thoughts.

Pray often. Pardon always. Prosper with love.

If You Ever Find My Phone

IF YOU EVER FIND MY PHONE

If you ever find my phone, you will see all the pictures I’ve taken in the past few months.

They will show the beauty, the detail, the moment, the color, the morning, the evening, the sky, the sea, the tree, the leaf, the moose, the bear, the rabbit, the flower, the people with me, all the life around me.

But, it will never show my storms, my waves, my turmoil, my pain, my tears, my sadness, my sleepless nights, those are not the things I chose to focus on.

Yet, those experiences are what move me to take the picture of what is right before me as I hold on for dear life to the purpose of living with hope, by faith and in love.

My life is a well of emotions which helps me to pull from to write, to share, to connect with others and those whom I may not physically touch, yet understand by our similar thoughts, emotions and unspoken circumstances.

We all have wild waves to survive. Maybe even ride out in this very moment. If we do ride our waves out, survive their overwhelming power, they will push us to solid ground.

Then, we can give an encouraging word to the ones still out at sea. Give a hand to the ones that got washed from the sea. Help others walk on the solid ground we are now walking on.

Let’s be compassionate to those around us who are drowning, tumbling, and sinking.

May they sense the hope we have in God; see our faith in our Savior and Lord, Jesus in us; and feel the love of God for humanity through us.

Come fly With Me

20191005_090644.jpgCOME FLY WITH ME ~ From Seattle to LA

Seeing the world from up high gives only a section of a perspective. Specific details are impossible to see until the destination is within sight and even more when one arrives.

Sometimes life is very much this way. It gives us a broad picture, when all we want is a specific and detail plan.

Many times, we become impatient taking the plan of flight in our own hands. Soon, we find ourselves headed straight down, spinning out of control, before the crash.

Waiting, as hard as it is, possibly causing anxiety, has its different purposes for our own good.

Besides acclimating to the descending pressure, balancing our equilibrium, our reasoning is in need of the proper oxygen for clarity.

Otherwise, our choices become unwise.

In spiritual or even physical matters one may not know the next destination. Despair, fear, denial, depression can easily accompany anxiety causing one to hyperventilate.

Trust, faith and reliance on God, family and friends become a necessity.

It’s as if one holds their heart in their hands passing it carefully to the hands of the one before them and say, ” Help! But, please don’t break it.”

Not easy for me to trust others with my heart, only God. He’s teaching me at this time of my life, vulnerability. Not an easy lesson. It hurts.

Giving Up or Letting Go?

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GIVING UP OR LETTING GO?
Woke up with the phrase, “thoughts can kill you or heal you,” and it wouldn’t leave me alone.
Seeking undestanding, I ask the Lord, “is this a theme for a story or something else?”
As I spent my quiet time, the phrase return and it brought another idea along. Not finding the proper words to put on this feeling, I looked for a photo to help me identify what the Holy Spirit was telling me.
When I saw the leaf, a question formed, “Is the leaf giving up or letting go?”
Knowing how God works and moves me or should I say pushes me to act upon what He sees in me, I knew a reminder was being handed for my mind.
Will I be giving up what has been done in me? Or letting go and accept the change which is in hand?
Many times, I fight thoughts which push me to give up and let the dream die.
It’s a real, true struggle within me!!!
One which produces melancholy even after workouts, walks and being out in nature for hours. Usually God wakes my spirit and soon I get myself moving by doing my duties of laundry and cleaning or paying bills.
My self talk goes something like this, “Lidia, you’re a grown woman, just keep taking steps. How else can you be a witness of what you’ve said you are in Christ?”
Why am telling you this? Because I’m not alone fighting a battle which we’ve been told it’s won. Yet, no relief has come. It diverted and missed us. Well, it feels like it has for what ever reason.
Instead of standing strong against the enemy. I do as he wants, be in the front battle zone fighting for my right to be who God said I am.
For many of us, the war exist in our head more than in our heart.
We struggle with thoughts which are killing us, inside out. Once our will is done with, we have no reason to exist. Meditate on God words, are daily pills, but our thoughts of redemption and healing remain dried up. (Rom. 12:2)
Then the dagger hits home, Hope is for others, not for me.
I shared my reoccurring waking thought with a friend over coffee this morning. I mention that I wasn’t sure if it was for a story. She suggested to write a story about twins, one with the name Ican’t and the other Ican.
After she left, I had my quiet time. It was them when I saw these twins, joined by one heart, in me.
Who will win?
The one who will remain standing strong and walk in the newness of who she has become.
Is it easy? Nope. I will confront that solid steep mountian God told me about.
It will seem unclimbable before me, but with the Lord’s help, I will get to the other side which is labeled, “accomplishement.”
Not sure what you’re struggling and doing battle with today, but be assured you are not alone even though it’s a lonesome road.
Today will you chose with me to dwell and meditate on the Victory which the Lord conquered for us through His resurrection?
Let’s encourage each other today as we stand with the banner of victory on our spear then walk in faith on what has already been done and accomplished in us. (Heb. 3:13)
You maybe on a different road, but we’re facing the same enemy. Let’s keep in mind the enemy is not only finished but CONQUERED! (John 19:30)
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When I’m Weak, I’m Strong

20190413_093341-1.jpgThere are days, which I’m more than ready to go full stride with my writing without telling myself, “believe, believe in your giftedness.”

Then there are those days, like yesterday, which all I could do was to muster enough will power and not get lost on the path which I’ve been on many times. The path which accomplishes nothing.

I pushed myself to move, only to have felt the dragging of my steps in familiar groves. Fear of stumbling in the old rut of ‘lack of trust’ or twist my ankle from a previous deep footprint of ‘doubt’ entered my heart. I struggled all day and didn’t return to the road of progress, which I had hoped to be on.

On days like yesterday, I normally repeat to myself, Lord, I believe, please, oh please help my unbelief. Honestly, this prayer didn’t even cross my mind. For some reason I kept expecting something bad to happen. I couldn’t stay focus on anything long enough to do or accomplish what I long, to write, to be creative or even go for a walk. My body became fatigued. All I wanted was to return to bed and sleep. By the end of the day, I was exhausted.

Today, the verse about, “My Grace is sufficient,” came to mind.

My spirit remarked with sarcasm, really Lord? I don’t think so.

I went ahead and looked up the verse, for I didn’t recall the whole passage.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

When I read, “three times,” I felt my spirit harden. It told me, “I’m not asking three times. It should have been taken care of the first time, we asked “three times.” Why must the wait have to occur, every time? Why? I’m tire of waiting.”

For some reason, a spirit of pessimism overcame me.

I wondered, where in the heck did, I pick up this spirit? Or did it just floated my way and decided I was a perfect candidate? Well, I don’t know. But, wanting to get some writing done today, I thought I should do as Paul wrote, “boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Maybe then this spirit would leave me, and my mindset be on Whom and what I believe God can do through me.

It’s difficult to write when low self-esteemed conversations arise over shadowing my creativity, and questions of my true ability drown the little confidence I hold inside. The idea of being a good writer quickly slips from my grasp, when my weakness of spelling, grammar and punctuation face me each time. Plus, the fact that the proper words I want to use don’t fruition quickly, only concepts float in my mind which frustrate my heart. Last, the critique in me wins more often than I care to admit, leaving me defeated.

Often, I ask myself, “why do you need to be perfect and want man’s approval when you have both in Christ?”

My mentors’ advice return, “write Lidia, just write. Don’t worry about the errors, go ahead and tell the story. Later, return and rewrite with the help of others.”

But I don’t want others to see my mistakes. Which in itself is another weakness of mine. Yikes! Why Lord, why do you fill my head with stories that I can’t finish and at times not even start? I don’t understand, why you gifted me with this talent of story-teller?

The Lord reminded me of His Grace as I struggle with the assurance of what God sees in me.

With truth, I responded, “Yes, Lord. I know your grace is sufficient.”

Then, I heard in my spirit my Lord say, “Lidia why don’t you do what Paul did, delight in weaknesses, in insult, in hardships in persecutions, in difficulties. It’s not a delight of your weakness, but while you are in the state of being weak, delight in the knowledge that my grace is sufficient and allow the errors to be made. In other words, trust me as you obey and make mistakes. All you need to do is believe Paul’s words. Believe, when Lidia is weak, then Lidia is strong.”

Truthfully Lord, it makes no scenes to me. How in my weakness, can I be strong? How will your grace be sufficient for me? I do understand your power, yet not how it is made perfect in my weakness. Could you allow the Holy Spirit to help me understand your “grace?”

I heard my Lord say, “My Grace is many things, but here it refers to dexterity. Through my Grace you will receive the ability for the artistry which I’ve blessed you with. When you face the struggles, challenges, insults, difficulties and persecutions, I will give you the tact require to be strong as you hold on and accomplish each story.

Believe in me, in spite of your disbelief in yourself. Write and accomplish the stories.”

Lord, bring me back to this lesson when my will doesn’t want to obey, my spirit toys with disbelief and when self struggles with my old ways of thought for they return only to taunt me. I don’t want the struggle of my weaknesses, but I do desire for your divine power to be seen in me and through me so that many will trust in you.

Therefore, I will learn to say, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Don’t Quit! A Breakthrough is Coming!

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Where are you?
What have you found yourself in?
What belief are you walking away from?
 
I’ve witness broken hearts scream in pain to the point that I can’t imagine how on this earth anything will be fine again. Not only have I witnessed, but I too have screamed my whys.
 
Once the pain subsided, I recalled days passed, how God showed up, lifted me, took my hand and helped me recover. Many times, He had to carry me as I cried my nights to days. Then again when I’ve covered my pain with a smile until my day became night again. Impatiently I’ve waited for the breakthrough of wellness and goodness to come my way.
 
STRIVE TO SURVIVE.
 
Life is challenging. Yet, we must deal with the how, to live through sufferings, troubles, hardships, disappointments, broken hearts, loneliness and death. Then when the morning comes we can get out of bed and carry on. When the how isn’t known, then we walk in faith with what we have.
 
A time will come, when we will walk to obtain the promise, for it will be in reach. Along the way, let’s expect blessings, they will come. Let us not lose our faith. Let’s believe as we ride the wings of hope, for God will see us through.
 
STAND STRONG IN TRUTH.
 
Philippians #:7-14
“7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
 
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
 
May God be with you, protect and bless you.

THE DESIRABLE ROAD AHEAD

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Incase, you want to know why I try to post positive and uplifting words and scripture?

Because they are my personal road map to myself.

Otherwise, the negative, put down, and hindering voices make me doubt on where to head. When they come, they not only want to hang around, but navigate my life. Telling me to go back where I came from.

Often, I return to a previous post only to read what I have told myself, slamming the door on the voices of doubt, insecurity, fear and insignificance.

With the Lord’s confidence, I remind myself, I am no longer that small, timid, shrinking back latina girl.

More and more, I voice, “I am bold and courageous and daring. I’m a pillar of fire whom can’t easily be put out.

I know God has gifted me with the ability to express my thoughts and see beauty to photograph.

Through my photography I soar like an eagle as I explore where life takes me. At places where the Lord allows my feet to walk, His Spirit helps me see the beauty around.

I only need to listen and go where the light shines and the wind moves. There, I see what God wants me to see and I can’t wait to share my finds and words here with you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. God bless each of you.

WARNING ~ Nature Humbles

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Keep in mind, once you cross, you must return with less. Otherwise, how else will you be able to fit through that small passage and come back?

Seriously, being out in nature can help shrinks problems, lessens troubles, relieves tension, plus reduce our waist line, if we adjusts our perspectives.

WARNING! Being out in the wild-of-less, it’s a humbling experience.

Conversing With Self

Hurry! Go.  My soul whispered.

I rushed to where the fire danced and popped. It seemed unreal. Mesmerized, I squatted. In my mind, I stepped into the cozy hot coals. The bitter winter cold vanished even though the ruby-red flames contrasted against the grand gray snowy mountains around me.

Sounds from people, family and friend diminished. Mesmerized by the fluorescent red coals, I existed alone. While the fire burned, I listened within myself.

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Self: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Me: Yes, like a ruby melting and reforming. If only I could stay here and write.

Self: “What would you write about?”

Me: “I’m not sure, for I haven’t been able to continue writing my stories. Silent, they hang on the tips of the roof of my mind like ice-cycles. I’m afraid they will melt and vanish one day. I will be left with the knowledge that I once had unfinished stories.”

Self: “Why do you suppose, they are no longer speaking to you?”

Me: “Not sure. Many times, I’ve quiet myself and sat in front of my lap top and nothing, not one peep. The only sound I hear is of an unseen ocean with my beating heart out there drifting on a boat.”

Self: “Why have you distance your heart from your stories? What are you afraid of?”

Me: “I’ve not distant my heart, wait, do you think I did this? No, I didn’t place my heart out in the ocean.”

Self: “Lidia, be real. Be truthful. See, your heart. You are the only one who can place your heart out in the ocean. Look out there for the boat. Don’t look away. Your fear could be telling you truth. You are afraid of truth. That’s why you allowed your heart to drift from your stories.”

Me: “Fear lies.”

Self: “Not all fear lies. This fear of yours is true. You’re not a good writer. Yet you are a good story-teller. Focus on the story, Lidia, just like your friends tell you.”

Me: “I’m tired of not writing well. I want to have a well written story, but my enthusiasm dies too soon after I get started.”

Self: “You have to learn to keep writing when the energy of the idea runs out. Don’t allow your story to become foreign to your own heart. Keep it close to you, pluck scenarios, story lines, details, thoughts and feelings of the character even if they may never make into the story. You have to keep the story alive. That’s your job. It’s your baby. If you don’t feed it, it will vanish. Now, start the fire and allow your story ice-cycles to melt and flow again. You have been given a gift to tell stories like no one else. Write and let someone else correct your errors. You will not create a perfect story. No one can, not alone. But you can crank on your generator.”

Me: “But, my fingers won’t move.”

Self: “Yes, your finger and thoughts will be stiff because of the cold of not being perfect. But, in no time the heat will get going and your thoughts will flow the story will breath and pump red blood again. Once it thaws out, details will drop into your mind as the ice-cycle melts. Get the page ready to catch the ideas. Remember, as you keep telling stories, your writing will become stronger.”

Me: “Thank you, for the talk.”

Self: “Don’t worry, I will remind you again, when I see that you’ve removed your heart for your stories. You are not just writing for others, but for me, self.”

Footsteps crunched the snow behind me. I came back to my surroundings. I heard my husband distant voice, “Are you coming and sledding or are you staying.”

With a smile, I answered, “I’m coming.”

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I started this blog back in December, and it wasn’t until today that I was able to finish it. It’s a major accomplishment for me. I’ve struggled with my writing for over a year. There are at least twelve unfinished stories on my files and I can’t seem to finish any one of them. From this self-reflection, I’ve learned that it wasn’t fear that kept me from my stories, instead it was truth.

Writing my blog posts, have been a great exercise to build my confidence and improve my writing skills. With short entries, I have less misspell words, less grammar errors and less wrong word usage. I still get wordy, but my skills are improving alongside my belief in my abilities to give what’s in my heart a voice.

To write a book, it’s much more challenging and difficult than a blog. But, if I can treat each couple of pages as a blog post, I might get myself going again and finish my next book. Now which of the twelve stories should I start constructing again?

Maybe, I will blog about my journey as I write my next book.

To be continued . . .