Messy Feelings

Messy feelings keep me from talking. They gargle up to my throat and block me from saying a word. I swallow hard. But that nasty blob of unsettled hurt has stirred the acid in my stomach and it’s fumes have cause my nose to flair.

I’m about to explode. Yet, I dare not even utter a sound.

Composed, I look away from the person I love. The flame which has dried my tears, might just ignite the heart before me with a fire they have never felt in our entire married life.

In silence, I pray.

In time, I take myself for a walk, fix my eyes on something beautiful and lovely until my messy feelings are washed clean. Now, I too can try to be lovely with the person who has offended me.

I return a bit more level-headed and forgiving for I still enjoy being around my husband.

He does care about me, even though I too have stirred his acid once or twice, maybe just a few more times. But, whose counting. 😉

 

 

 

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Be Present In Other’s Life And Help

 

“Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full.” John 24:16

Sometime I feel that, “In, Jesus name I pray,” used in prayer is said as if expecting something magical to happen, instead of waiting for a miracle.

One, must understand when we ask in Jesus name, Jesus is not a magical word, instead it is a powerful word. Then, we must prepare our hearts, for the answer may come far from how it is expected. However or whatever form the answer is sent, joy does come along with peace.

I love the explanation from “My Utmost for His Highest”

“Our Lord does not mean that life will be free from external perplexities, but that just as He knew the Father’s heart and mind, so by the baptism of the Holy Ghost He can lift us into the heavenly places where He can reveal the counsels of God to us.”

We need to be so intimate with our Lord, as to be one with him, then we will not only know the counsel of God but our God’s joy will be made full in us.

This joy doesn’t come externally like our woes, troubles and tribulations. This joy comes from the peace that passes earthly understanding, knowing our Lord will help us pass through our present circumstances.

He does and he will be with us and help us.

Remember in prayer, Jesus name is powerful, but it is not a magic word.

Also keep in mind, that God answers us is many ways today. The most realistic method is through people. The relief may come through a person whom you’ve never met. These folks are today’s Good Samaritan whom are moved by the Holy Spirit to help not only by what they hear and see, but by what moves them to compassion. Luke 10:25-37

Be present in someone’s life and be a good Samaritan.

God bless the Samaritans in our lives.

Broken Together

CAN WE REMAIN TOGETHER EVEN IF WE ARE BROKEN?

Marriage is hard, It’s an ongoing, challenging commitment. One, must keep believing not only in each other, but why one wanted to be united in the first place.

The song, Broke Together by Casting Crowns reminded me of a part of my wedding vow which I try hard to keep real in my heart, especially when turbulence shakes my marriage. When I’m standing on shaking grown from a disagreement, I recall the vow I try to keep alive, “For better or for worst, until death do us part.”

Then, I cry for help to the only One who can change not only my husband mind and heart, but mine. That’s if we’re willing. I’ve learned if I want my husband to change, I need to first look at what needs to be change in me. This idea works both ways, but one must be willing to allow God to show the truth of the circumstance and the truth about the person asking.

I’ll be truthful, before God begins to reveal what needs changing in me, I give him a piece of my mind. When I’m done with my whimpering and complaining, He reminds me to allow Him to hold all my hurting heart. It is then when I can hear truth. I’ve learned, things can’t improve, if I keep asking God to change him without changing me. Change can’t occur on both individuals, if we aren’t willing to see WHY we are part of the problem.

If I don’t ask God to change me, the problem and disharmony prolongs and will return quicker. After I see my faults and take ownership, then my husband begins to make amends. If I’m not at fault, I must remain steadfast in wanting to remain united and ask God to help my husband, as He helped me. Then I wait for God to help my husband, For God always waits on me.

A marriage is an art in progress that doesn’t stay beautiful. It can get ugly and messy. The problem is, we fall short of being patient, kind and loving, our brokenness shows up again and again. Our old nature returns and the explosion sends the mushroom cloud of destruction into the atmosphere.

It’s good to remind ourselves, we are broken people. But unlike Humpty Dumpty, we can be place back together again, every time we ask for help.

To fall less, we must acknowledge what tripped us. Was it fear, doubt, insecurities, selfishness, thoughtlessness or refusal to say, “It’s my fault. Please forgive me, for the hundredth time.” These are just a few things that causes the turbulence and shakes our commitment.

The dream of the perfect marriage doesn’t last. Realism comes as soon as the sun rises and one wakes up, But, hope is eternal. Hope in what God sees in your spouse and in yourself, instead of the broken parts of each other’s lives.

When you run out of love for your spouse, go to God, the maker of love, who gives freely to anyone who asks. HIs love, never runs out despite of how many times one falls.

If you are married or plan to get married, listen to the song, Broken Together and hold on to hope as you keep the promise for better or for worse. God bless our commitment to cherish and to hold.