If you ever find my phone, you will see all the pictures I’ve taken in the past few months.
They will show the beauty, the detail, the moment, the color, the morning, the evening, the sky, the sea, the tree, the leaf, the moose, the bear, the rabbit, the flower, the people with me, all the life around me.
But, it will never show my storms, my waves, my turmoil, my pain, my tears, my sadness, my sleepless nights, those are not the things I chose to focus on.
Yet, those experiences are what move me to take the picture of what is right before me as I hold on for dear life to the purpose of living with hope, by faith and in love.
My life is a well of emotions which helps me to pull from to write, to share, to connect with others and those whom I may not physically touch, yet understand by our similar thoughts, emotions and unspoken circumstances.
We all have wild waves to survive. Maybe even ride out in this very moment. If we do ride our waves out, survive their overwhelming power, they will push us to solid ground.
Then, we can give an encouraging word to the ones still out at sea. Give a hand to the ones that got washed from the sea. Help others walk on the solid ground we are now walking on.
Let’s be compassionate to those around us who are drowning, tumbling, and sinking.
May they sense the hope we have in God; see our faith in our Savior and Lord, Jesus in us; and feel the love of God for humanity through us.
Children, spouse, parents, extended family, a soul friend, your beloved pet, concerns for our world?
Worry, anxiety, fear of the future, anger of what has been your lot?
You’ve prayed, trusted God, stayed faithful to Him, repented when you’ve fall away, loved and forgiven others and self as much as it was possible, yet life still hands you sour grapes, lemons and tomatoes are thrown at you, again!
You wonder, how Lord, how am I going to make it through the night this time?
I had enough.
Every step forward, I end five steps back.
Lord, it may not be that way, but it sure feels as others get somewhere, while I find myself back where I have been over and over again.
Even during the day, night holds the light from me.
Love one, if this is how you feel, I tell you, I know where you are. I understand your perplexed soul. I feel your dry tears, silent cry and cold loneliness.
Call someone. Tell them what your facing. Ask them to pray for your concern.
After the tears fall, I pray what has been said to you brings a smile, a giggle or even laughter for you load has been shared and you, now, can sense hope of what’s on the way.
Prayers are whispers of wind that come to lift the darkness away, allowing the break of God’s goodness to be felt, seen and grasped.
If you’re still in the dark of your night, may the Light of morning dawn find you soon, where the Lord trades your burden for hope.
When the pain, fear, anxiety, worry, anger returns to stop you from trusting, speak out, “God is working things out for me, my family and keeping a watch over our lives.” It’ll hush uncertainty away.
Let’s pray for one another, even if that one soul hasn’t call. Especially when God places them on our radar.
Let us not ignore the opportunity to be a servant of the Lord through prayer and help someone move out of their dimmed, hopeless, lonesome day.
ON A WARM ROCK ~ Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited a long time for the Eternal; He finally knelt down to hear me. He listened to my weak and whispered cry.He reached down and drew me from the deep, dark hole where I was stranded, mired in the muck and clay. With a gentle hand, He pulled me outTo set me down safely on a warm rock; He held me until I was steady enough to continue the journey again.As if that were not enough, because of Him my mind is clearing up.Now I have a new song to sing— a song of praise to the One who saved me.Because of what He’s done, many people will see and come to trust in the Eternal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There has been times my waiting for my Lord felt like a dark tunnel without a way out. Yet I kept going searching for his hand and hoping to hear his foot steps. Maybe even the wings of his eagle as it comes to my rescue.
Many times, in my low hours, I cried for him as I felt alone. He comes. Always comes.
I’ve felt his touch, his warmth, his whisper. The picture this psalm describes of the Lord finally kneeling down to hear, it is what I’ve experienced and still experience.
His hand is gentle, his pull is kind and places me oh so tenderly on his warm rock. That warm rock, I usually describes it as his embrace, his lap, his heart. I know without a doubt and with every fiber of what makes me, that my Lord has come to my rescue over and over again.
When he holds me, its just not for me to regain my step, no, it’s to hold my lifeless soul, my weak spirit and my dwindled heart. Once I’ve regain my spiritual balance, my heart strengthens as it holds to God’s promises and my soul is filled with the hope that carries one to tomorrow.
It is then when I walk with my Lord as we lock arms that my mind becomes clear. For I know he is with we as I continue in the darkness of today’s unknown. For it isn’t what I can see or understand, but the hope of what God is doing that gives me a positive outlook at a distrustful time.
Then a song comes, it always has and it sings my heart and feels my mood, but someone else wrote the word and played out the rhythm. Time after time, I’m still amazed how God works it out for the song comes on the radio, pandora, or someone sends it at that hour.
I worship a living God and serve a risen Lord and listen to a flowing Holy Sprit. No one can ever take my faith, my belief nor my hope from me. Because of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for me every season of my life, even today, I can say he rescues, teaches and guides. Everything the Scriptures say about my Lord, is who my Savior is and what he does for those who follow him and worship God.
I pray that if you do not know God, his Son and the Holy Spirit, that you come to trust in the Eternal and experience his majestic love, his forever forgiveness and his everlasting assurance.
Our God, punish those people. We don’t have the strength to stop this large army that is coming against us. We don’t know what to do! We are looking to you for help.”
2Chronicles 20:13 ERV
When one receives a blow of shock, disappointment, betrayal, challenging time or difficult news to heavy to bear it’s like a massive wave over us. Its power smashes us against a boulder, which can’t be move, and leaves us powerless.
When hours, days, months maybe even years passed and the boulder is still sitting there, we come to a place again and again of not knowing what to do.
From nowhere another blow has knocked out our wind, our strength, our stamina to fight. We can’t stop what’s coming against us. For the boulder has trapped us.
We then feel alone and totally helpless. Feelings and thoughts overwhelm us and we become powerless to fight the enemy of our mind, our will and at times our belief.
Then we hear a whisper, like a soft warm wind, reminding us, “It’s not your battle to fight. Do what you must. Do what you can. Then do what I’ve told you. Rest and trust in me, your Lord and Savior.
I will stop this large army which has come against you. Will you take my hand and believe that I am watching over you?
Don’t forget of those people who I’ve placed along side you. They are part of my army. They too will be fighting for you in prayer. Surround yourself with my people.
Don’t remove yourself, then cry wolf, as if you are all alone. For you are never alone. I am with you. When you are with your brothers and sisters in Christ, you will feel me there.
Don’t turn away from my ways or from me, look to me for my help. Take my hand and I will bear this burden with you until this storm passes.
As for the boulder, it’s a reminder of my power in your life. It will remain where it has been placed. In the past.
Remember, the past can return and bring a storm. If and when it does, it should draw you even closer to me than before. For we have a history together. Don’t allow the storm to wash you away from me.
I’ll fight the enemy which your eyes can’t see, which destroys the human spirit and imprisons souls.
I will fight the wind which whips you away from me. I will cover you with my hands.
I will fight for you, my child, when you can’t see any one else beside you.
Come, trust in me again, take a hold of my promises and follow me. Always, look towards me for help.”
Woke up with the phrase, “thoughts can kill you or heal you,” and it wouldn’t leave me alone.
Seeking undestanding, I ask the Lord, “is this a theme for a story or something else?”
As I spent my quiet time, the phrase return and it brought another idea along. Not finding the proper words to put on this feeling, I looked for a photo to help me identify what the Holy Spirit was telling me.
When I saw the leaf, a question formed, “Is the leaf giving up or letting go?”
Knowing how God works and moves me or should I say pushes me to act upon what He sees in me, I knew a reminder was being handed for my mind.
Will I be giving up what has been done in me? Or letting go and accept the change which is in hand?
Many times, I fight thoughts which push me to give up and let the dream die.
It’s a real, true struggle within me!!!
One which produces melancholy even after workouts, walks and being out in nature for hours. Usually God wakes my spirit and soon I get myself moving by doing my duties of laundry and cleaning or paying bills.
My self talk goes something like this, “Lidia, you’re a grown woman, just keep taking steps. How else can you be a witness of what you’ve said you are in Christ?”
Why am telling you this? Because I’m not alone fighting a battle which we’ve been told it’s won. Yet, no relief has come. It diverted and missed us. Well, it feels like it has for what ever reason.
Instead of standing strong against the enemy. I do as he wants, be in the front battle zone fighting for my right to be who God said I am.
For many of us, the war exist in our head more than in our heart.
We struggle with thoughts which are killing us, inside out. Once our will is done with, we have no reason to exist. Meditate on God words, are daily pills, but our thoughts of redemption and healing remain dried up. (Rom. 12:2)
Then the dagger hits home, Hope is for others, not for me.
I shared my reoccurring waking thought with a friend over coffee this morning. I mention that I wasn’t sure if it was for a story. She suggested to write a story about twins, one with the name Ican’t and the other Ican.
After she left, I had my quiet time. It was them when I saw these twins, joined by one heart, in me.
Who will win?
The one who will remain standing strong and walk in the newness of who she has become.
Is it easy? Nope. I will confront that solid steep mountian God told me about.
It will seem unclimbable before me, but with the Lord’s help, I will get to the other side which is labeled, “accomplishement.”
Not sure what you’re struggling and doing battle with today, but be assured you are not alone even though it’s a lonesome road.
Today will you chose with me to dwell and meditate on the Victory which the Lord conquered for us through His resurrection?
Let’s encourage each other today as we stand with the banner of victory on our spear then walk in faith on what has already been done and accomplished in us. (Heb. 3:13)
You maybe on a different road, but we’re facing the same enemy. Let’s keep in mind the enemy is not only finished but CONQUERED! (John 19:30)
Remember, as children when we got in trouble, we were sent to timeout?
As a parent, I would tell my kids to think about what they did wrong. While the child sat, they would have to stay there until they, themselves, identified their error and understood the correct manner of behavior. Which I had already explain to them, but they had to own their choice and decide to make better choices in the future.
Without knowing why, today, my soul was troubled, I had the urge to go for a drive and have a timeout. Expecting to learn the error of my ways I desired to find a place out in nature to listen to what God had taught me and seem to be trying to remind me. Eagle River, Alaska came to mind. Being a place where bears are cited, I invited a friend and off we went. (We didn’t see any bears, which we were thankful after learning that this was the time for brown bears and grizzlies to be passing through to feed from the salmon runs.)
Before leaving my place, I took time to read my devotional. As soon as I read the verses, I had the urge to leave, now. Without reading any further, I left with three questions packed in my heart. What should I be asking? What should I be seeking? And where should I be knocking? Eagerly I drove, expecting to hear definite answers from God at some point on the hike but, none came.
For those of you who know the passage, the verses were from Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” They’re familiar verses in the Christian community, but for me this time they had something new to teach me. I just didn’t know exactly what that lesson was, because I hadn’t identify where I stood with God.
Seating and pondering on my day in Eagle River, which I didn’t receive answers or clarity of these verses or my errored ways, I read the rest of the devotional. It reminded me to be persistent in asking and that Jesus doesn’t recommend for us to ask, He commands for us to ask. Now that’s something to think about for my future timeout from my day.
The devotional also said, that asking isn’t quite sufficient from Jesus’ point of view. He wants us to take it up a notch. We should seek out what we need from God and we will find it. Well asking is much less work than seeking, because one doesn’t have to do anything. While seeking takes our effort not just God’s. There are times, I just want the answer without much work on my part.
Do you remember asking your mom for something you know she could easily give you, but she sent you out to find it yourself and then get it on your own? Well I’m wondering if that’s what God was trying to tell me, when I rather for Him to just hand it to me. I still wonder, what is it that I truly want? I sense I must go on to the third question maybe I will receive clarity.
Knocking on the door is the final step. Well the devotional reference that the door is heaven’s door. It also mention that our asking and seeking takes us to the very doorsteps of heaven. Once there, we shouldn’t just stand there and wait, we should knock on the door. Well to tell you the truth, I’ve been afraid to knock on the door. Why? Because of what God has to offer.
What if God gives me my heart desire only to be taken away. Maybe, I don’t want to feel that pain again, so I will not knock, then I keep what I long for in the longing place of my heart. No wonder I felt like a timeout. I needed to see the error of my thinking and correct it with truth. It is better to have had it for a short while than not to have it at all. Besides, who told me that it will be taken again and why bother having it in the first place? Who have I been listening to? Whom have I followed? I’ve listen to the voices of Doubt, Disappointment and Fear.
They misguided me because of the troubles that have come and taken the good things my husband and I have been blessed with in Vancouver. We placed our house on the market and sold within twelve hours. We had to leave quickly that we didn’t have time to say good-bye to our friends. The move-out happened in less than two weeks from our return of our working travels. Our belongings were stuffed in storage and off we flew to Alaska to work again.
Now, we are homeless and have no idea where to plant our life and allow roots to grow. You see, I have lived in almost twenty places in thirty-five years of marriage which includes less than ten city moves and seven states covering from Texas to Maryland to Montana to Washington and now Alaska.
Do you see why I’m shy to knock and ask where should I be seeking residency? At the moment, we’re staying in an Airbnb in Alaska provided by my husband’s work. When he’s not working we’ll be staying with my daughter in Seattle, Washington.
I know once I knock on the door of heaven, it will be open. God will meet me and He will provide the answer. But, will it be the answer I seek? Or will He offer me the answer which is best to produce the fruits that are needed? I also know, that God will hand my husband and I not only what we need but gift us with more, with the purpose of sharing. All things do come from his storehouse and he will place the gifts into our hands for us and for us to share.
I understand. It’s not about finding residency, a house to call home or having a dwelling place. It’s about asking and seeking where does God want us, my husband and I to bear fruit. Like the devotional said, all of our persistent asking, seeking and knocking shows God that we are serious and sincere about our desire to bear fruits like John teaches.
John 15:16 “You have not chosen Me, I have chosen you. I have set you apart for the work of bringing in fruit. Your fruit should last. And whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give it to you.”
Am I ready to ask, seek and knock? I am. I’ve recognize the error of my ways, listening and believing the voices of Doubt, Disappointment and Fear instead of the voice of my Shepard, Jesus himself. I should trust Him with our future, my husbands and mine as a couple and mine as an individual.
Father, In Jesus name I come and ask to show me the way my husband and I should go and where to plant our lives to bear fruit, so that you can feed those who hunger after your precepts and desire to draw closer to you plus, to learn about your Son, the one who saves, died and rose again, Jesus, who conquered our sins, who forgives without our cost. for He paid it all. Thank you for choosing me. In Jesus name I ask, seek and knock. And in His name I wait to find a home to share of what God has in store for my husband and me.
I’ve witness broken hearts scream in pain to the point that I can’t imagine how on this earth anything will be fine again. Not only have I witnessed, but I too have screamed my whys.
Once the pain subsided, I recalled days passed, how God showed up, lifted me, took my hand and helped me recover. Many times, He had to carry me as I cried my nights to days. Then again when I’ve covered my pain with a smile until my day became night again. Impatiently I’ve waited for the breakthrough of wellness and goodness to come my way.
STRIVE TO SURVIVE.
Life is challenging. Yet, we must deal with the how, to live through sufferings, troubles, hardships, disappointments, broken hearts, loneliness and death. Then when the morning comes we can get out of bed and carry on. When the how isn’t known, then we walk in faith with what we have.
A time will come, when we will walk to obtain the promise, for it will be in reach. Along the way, let’s expect blessings, they will come. Let us not lose our faith. Let’s believe as we ride the wings of hope, for God will see us through.
STAND STRONG IN TRUTH.
“7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Incase, you want to know why I try to post positive and uplifting words and scripture?
Because they are my personal road map to myself.
Otherwise, the negative, put down, and hindering voices make me doubt on where to head. When they come, they not only want to hang around, but navigate my life. Telling me to go back where I came from.
Often, I return to a previous post only to read what I have told myself, slamming the door on the voices of doubt, insecurity, fear and insignificance.
With the Lord’s confidence, I remind myself, I am no longer that small, timid, shrinking back latina girl.
More and more, I voice, “I am bold and courageous and daring. I’m a pillar of fire whom can’t easily be put out.
I know God has gifted me with the ability to express my thoughts and see beauty to photograph.
Through my photography I soar like an eagle as I explore where life takes me. At places where the Lord allows my feet to walk, His Spirit helps me see the beauty around.
I only need to listen and go where the light shines and the wind moves. There, I see what God wants me to see and I can’t wait to share my finds and words here with you.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. God bless each of you.
Messy feelings keep me from talking. They gargle up to my throat and block me from saying a word. I swallow hard. But that nasty blob of unsettled hurt has stirred the acid in my stomach and it’s fumes have cause my nose to flair.
I’m about to explode. Yet, I dare not even utter a sound.
Composed, I look away from the person I love. The flame which has dried my tears, might just ignite the heart before me with a fire they have never felt in our entire married life.
In silence, I pray.
In time, I take myself for a walk, fix my eyes on something beautiful and lovely until my messy feelings are washed clean. Now, I too can try to be lovely with the person who has offended me.
I return a bit more level-headed and forgiving for I still enjoy being around my husband.
He does care about me, even though I too have stirred his acid once or twice, maybe just a few more times. But, whose counting. 😉