I stand at the edge of height, not for the thrill or to jump, but to see how far I’ve come. Besides, the view is much different looking down, than up.
When one is at the bottom of a canyon, a mountain, or life, the focus may fall on the difficulties, challenges and at time impossibilities as one works their way up. Finding a passage to higher ground, doesn’t always seem achievable. Many times giving up, is an option, which I refuse to take.
The Grand Canyon beckons me to the tip of where I can stand. My husband is always close by. At times, he holds me by the back of my pants to make sure I don’t take another step.
It’s not that I want the risk, but a part of me wants to become what I see. I long to be a hawk, an eagle or any bird and soar through the canyons. A desire builds in me to hear the wind resonate the tonal sounds of the canyons as they sing. Imagining to be one with nature in this form, frees me and helps me see life from a different point of view, from accomplishments.
When realism returns to me, I sit and admire the canyon’s design and envy the crows flying by. To watch the colors of these rocks change from sunrise to sunset, a breath of life enters my soul and spirit. I can then relax and recall, God is present.
To study their cavities and realize their differences, they point to my own uniqueness. For many times I’m like many ladies, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a teacher. I’m a person who lines up with other women under many different categories. Like others, my oneness becomes hard to find.
At the edge, I’m reminded by the Creator of my design, why I exist and the reason of why I stand alone. I shouldn’t be sad or mad or lonely. For the spot of where I stand is for a specific purpose, for a short time and for limited space.
Unlike the canyon’s crevasses, which remain in their spot, I’m privileged, for I choose my place to stand. My Creator showed me, how I am like a bird. I can fly any where and land on any spot, yet I will stand with only me.
As I think, I’m never alone, a small voice tells me, “you feel alone.”
It’s not about being alone, or the sense of loneliness, but being who I was created to be. Visiting the Grand Canyon, made me well aware of the fact, I’m the only one who occupies this specific spot at this exact time for a particular task. The reason has been, and will be, revealed when it’s time for me to take a stand.
Standing at the edge of height refuels the truth of my uniqueness, my oneness, my me.
Once I turned and faced my husband, immediately I knew, I didn’t get to where I am, alone.