Put Up With One Another

Pray Pardon Prosper

“Put up with one another. Forgive. Pardon any offenses against one another, as the Lord has pardoned you, because you should act in kind.” Colossians 3:13 (The Voice)

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To put up with one another, one has to have a triple tune-up; in the heart, of the mind and from the attitude. In order to get the tune up, one must go to the best adjuster. I only know of one, Jesus.

Many times we need more than a tune-up to put up with those we love.The following also may need to be looked at:

1) A total overhaul. There could be major repairs to be considered which have been overlooked for years. Like years, 10, 20, 30 maybe even since childhood.

2) A quick refurbish. They may only be the need of an adjustment. The stress from a new job, newborn baby, low bank account, high credit card bill. Or just plainly the stress of marriage, parenting, or any other relationship along with the stresses mention above.

3) A costly remodel. This means a major fix up. What once worked is no longer working. People grow, mature, change revealing the need of new ways to deal with the present circumstances while others are stagnant, stuck, stubborn. It’s costly because most of us like the way we deal with others and feel the other person should change and not us. Well, think again! This is where it will cost, when we are the ones who must be remodel and we aren’t willing. God help us!

4) A humble Patch up. Restoring is when something worked well, but now it has a tare, a crack, or a hole which been over looked. Time and wearing down caused some wear and tear. Now they’re noticeable with the need to be covered with the same agreements. Together the loop holes must be recognized allowing proper time for healing and restoration.

5) A true revise. Reworking is going back and starting all over again. But, the start begins with a changed plan. Starting again with the same agreements, which didn’t work to begin with, will only produce more frustrations. A revision will have to be made or the error will occur again and again. Honesty is best, even if it’s fearful. It’s pricey to be frank.

Relationships are hard work. Maintaince is a must. Tune ups of ourselves have to be made.

Sometimes, we just have to put ourselves in the shop with God and tell Him do the works on me.

We may need to take a sabbatical.

All this to say, forgive, forgive again, forgive seventy times seven.

Actually forgive as often as the person who turned the heat up in the realtionship to 80 while you were already sweating anger and frustration.

By the way, forgive yourself for storming to the person holding your dial.

Cause and effect goes both ways. They hurt you. You hurt them. Come together to God, if possible. Be pardon, then pardon. Remember we’re sinner just as much as the person who raise the heat on our thermostat.

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.

Pardon. Pardon. Pardon.

Release. Release. Release.

So, put up with one another, as you are kind with your words, your actions and in your secret thoughts.

Pray often. Pardon always. Prosper with love.

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Pain Is Not Only Caused by Thorns

Pain will always be. The caused from the pain could be avoidable. But when love is involved, it may be more challenging to slide pass the pain. It can be managed with the correct dosage of relief.

Love will always bloom. It’s the caused of hearts admirations who may not always be suitable and avoided, yet the heart wants. It can blossom with much sacrifice, heartfelt dedication and caring fertilization, but it requires work form both individuals.

Pain comes from grasping what the heart wants, the flower.

“No one can say, “He jests at scars who never felt a wound,” for I have never got one moment been in a state of mind to which even the imagination of serious pain was less than intolerable. If any man is safe from the danger of under-estimating this adversary, I am that man. I must add, too, that the only purpose of the book is to solve the intellectual problem raised by suffering; for the far higher task of teaching fortitude and patience I was never fool enough to suppose myself qualified, not have I anything offer my readers except my condition that when pain is to be borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture the love of God more than all.” From “The Problem of Pain” C. S. Lewis

Pain comes from suffering, discomfort, injury and wounds which are not only caused by the thorns of living, but by embracing what or whom one loves.

Even in love, pain can only be bared for so long before it cripples the heart, effecting the mind and in-prisoning the spirit. It is then when one can chose to act lovingly because it’s the right thing to do. While one lives experiencing hurtful thorns in the relationship, they may continue to accomplish what must get done as their spirit becomes fragile in a mindset of unworthiness out of duty and not so much out of love. One then exist in a mental cell, never living free to truly grasp the fullness of loving unconditionally.

What once was spontaneous romance, it becomes an expected reaction. What once was adoration, it becomes sights of hateful humiliation. What once was a breath of fresh intimacy, it becomes a toxic act of selfishness.

The blooming flower of any abusive relationship will wither at the edges. Soon the peddles of happiness vanish to not be felt again. What once was to be forever will frail apart, for the heart was never free to flourish, expand and grow into a mature love while romancing another’s heart.

What imprisons a soul is not always what one has done wrong, but what wrong has been done to the one with the caged up spirit.

How can one heal from such pain, abuse, circumstances?

First one must be freed. This freedom is not only physical, it is also spiritual. Both may be needed in order to feel safe. Through the help of a godly counsel, a person who is equipped with godly truths, the captive can hear words of healing. Even though the advice may bring further pain.

To heal a broken bone, more often than not surgery is a must. It is also true of a healing broken heart. Pain can cure pain. Managed pain can be a cure for unmanaged pain.

The ones who have been locked up by tormenting verbal abuse, threats of fearful actions, belittlement of their essence, physical scars of unspeakable tortures and reoccurring nightmares of past experiences need more than a therapist, they need a Savior. They need someone with the good news and the Spirit of the Lord God on them.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is on me, because the Lord has chosen me to bring good news to poor people. He has sent me to heal those with a sad heart. He has sent me to tell those who are being held and those in prison that they can go free.” Isaiah 61:1 NLT

Once the person has been spiritually freed then one can take the words of C. S. Lewis and meditate with much prayer to see how they can be apply to their hurting soul.

“It will take a little courage more than knowledge.” Within this little courage fear will exist.

“It will take a little human sympathy more than much courage.” With the little sympathy heart’s warm is felt.

“And the least tincture of the love of God more than all.” With the least bit of God’s love an overwhelming freedom appears.

Where can an impressoned soul get a little courage, a little human sympathy and a slight trace of the love of God? From the person the Lord has chosen to bring His good news.

The Lord will give the person’s sad heart joy, free to learn to love again and live a life of possibilities. Once the captive sees and accepts the Lord’s hand, the messenger must tell the one being held in hellish circumstance, that they can walk out and be free.

Once freed, there is where the healing begins. It will not be fast. One will be needing spiritual therapy. Continual mentoring exercises. With well-soul check-ups scheduled. One must learn to trust themselves to love again inspire of the thorns to come.

To guide someone to be spiritually free, one must have been set free themselves by the Lord Jesus Christ. These chosen people understand well the phrase, “He jets at scars who never felt a wound,” for they have felt the wound. These individulas know pain is caused by reaching to love the unlovable, to bare the unbearable, to give when there’s no more to give.

Yet these chosen people of God will stretch out their hand and give godly grace for they know what the cell room smells, feels and looks. They have empathy for those who are still captives in the cell. It’s an experience they will never forget nor ever want live through again.

Rekindled Love

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REKINDLED LOVE

On a lonely beach
Dinner for two
Is what you chose

Heart pounding
Hands sweating
Mind unfocused

Speechless
Beside you
I stood

Arm in arm
You guided me
And whispered

Be with me
Stay with me
Live with me

Lighter than air
Softer than silk
Warmer than summer

You embraced
Me whole
With gentleness

You kissed
My lips
With tenderness

I reaccepted
A ring’s
Caressed

My heart
My soul
My life

Has been
It is and
Will be

Only for
My true love
You, my Husband

Messy Feelings

Messy feelings keep me from talking. They gargle up to my throat and block me from saying a word. I swallow hard. But that nasty blob of unsettled hurt has stirred the acid in my stomach and it’s fumes have cause my nose to flair.

I’m about to explode. Yet, I dare not even utter a sound.

Composed, I look away from the person I love. The flame which has dried my tears, might just ignite the heart before me with a fire they have never felt in our entire married life.

In silence, I pray.

In time, I take myself for a walk, fix my eyes on something beautiful and lovely until my messy feelings are washed clean. Now, I too can try to be lovely with the person who has offended me.

I return a bit more level-headed and forgiving for I still enjoy being around my husband.

He does care about me, even though I too have stirred his acid once or twice, maybe just a few more times. But, whose counting. 😉

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Broken Together

20180115_125414.jpgCAN WE REMAIN TOGETHER EVEN IF WE ARE BROKEN?

Marriage is hard, It’s an ongoing, challenging commitment. One, must keep believing not only in each other, but why one wanted to be united in the first place.

The song, Broke Together by Casting Crowns reminded me of a part of my wedding vow which I try hard to keep real in my heart, especially when turbulence shakes my marriage. When I’m standing on shaking grown from a disagreement, I recall the vow I try to keep alive, “For better or for worst, until death do us part.”

Then, I cry for help to the only One who can change not only my husband mind and heart, but mine. That’s if we’re willing. I’ve learned if I want my husband to change, I need to first look at what needs to be change in me. This idea works both ways, but one must be willing to allow God to show the truth of the circumstance and the truth about the person asking.

I’ll be truthful, before God begins to reveal what needs changing in me, I give him a piece of my mind. When I’m done with my whimpering and complaining, He reminds me to allow Him to hold all my hurting heart. It is then when I can hear truth. I’ve learned, things can’t improve, if I keep asking God to change him without changing me. Change can’t occur on both individuals, if we aren’t willing to see WHY we are part of the problem.

If I don’t ask God to change me, the problem and disharmony prolongs and will return quicker. After I see my faults and take ownership, then my husband begins to make amends. If I’m not at fault, I must remain steadfast in wanting to remain united and ask God to help my husband, as He helped me. Then I wait for God to help my husband, For God always waits on me.

A marriage is an art in progress that doesn’t stay beautiful. It can get ugly and messy. The problem is, we fall short of being patient, kind and loving, our brokenness shows up again and again. Our old nature returns and the explosion sends the mushroom cloud of destruction into the atmosphere.

It’s good to remind ourselves, we are broken people. But unlike Humpty Dumpty, we can be place back together again, every time we ask for help.

To fall less, we must acknowledge what tripped us. Was it fear, doubt, insecurities, selfishness, thoughtlessness or refusal to say, “It’s my fault. Please forgive me, for the hundredth time.” These are just a few things that causes the turbulence and shakes our commitment.

The dream of the perfect marriage doesn’t last. Realism comes as soon as the sun rises and one wakes up, But, hope is eternal. Hope in what God sees in your spouse and in yourself, instead of the broken parts of each other’s lives.

When you run out of love for your spouse, go to God, the maker of love, who gives freely to anyone who asks. HIs love, never runs out despite of how many times one falls.

If you are married or plan to get married, listen to the song, Broken Together and hold on to hope as you keep the promise for better or for worse. God bless our commitment to cherish and to hold.