Remember, as children when we got in trouble, we were sent to timeout?
As a parent, I would tell my kids to think about what they did wrong. While the child sat, they would have to stay there until they, themselves, identified their error and understood the correct manner of behavior. Which I had already explain to them, but they had to own their choice and decide to make better choices in the future.
Without knowing why, today, my soul was troubled, I had the urge to go for a drive and have a timeout. Expecting to learn the error of my ways I desired to find a place out in nature to listen to what God had taught me and seem to be trying to remind me. Eagle River, Alaska came to mind. Being a place where bears are cited, I invited a friend and off we went. (We didn’t see any bears, which we were thankful after learning that this was the time for brown bears and grizzlies to be passing through to feed from the salmon runs.)
Before leaving my place, I took time to read my devotional. As soon as I read the verses, I had the urge to leave, now. Without reading any further, I left with three questions packed in my heart. What should I be asking? What should I be seeking? And where should I be knocking? Eagerly I drove, expecting to hear definite answers from God at some point on the hike but, none came.
For those of you who know the passage, the verses were from Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” They’re familiar verses in the Christian community, but for me this time they had something new to teach me. I just didn’t know exactly what that lesson was, because I hadn’t identify where I stood with God.
Seating and pondering on my day in Eagle River, which I didn’t receive answers or clarity of these verses or my errored ways, I read the rest of the devotional. It reminded me to be persistent in asking and that Jesus doesn’t recommend for us to ask, He commands for us to ask. Now that’s something to think about for my future timeout from my day.
The devotional also said, that asking isn’t quite sufficient from Jesus’ point of view. He wants us to take it up a notch. We should seek out what we need from God and we will find it. Well asking is much less work than seeking, because one doesn’t have to do anything. While seeking takes our effort not just God’s. There are times, I just want the answer without much work on my part.
Do you remember asking your mom for something you know she could easily give you, but she sent you out to find it yourself and then get it on your own? Well I’m wondering if that’s what God was trying to tell me, when I rather for Him to just hand it to me. I still wonder, what is it that I truly want? I sense I must go on to the third question maybe I will receive clarity.
Knocking on the door is the final step. Well the devotional reference that the door is heaven’s door. It also mention that our asking and seeking takes us to the very doorsteps of heaven. Once there, we shouldn’t just stand there and wait, we should knock on the door. Well to tell you the truth, I’ve been afraid to knock on the door. Why? Because of what God has to offer.
What if God gives me my heart desire only to be taken away. Maybe, I don’t want to feel that pain again, so I will not knock, then I keep what I long for in the longing place of my heart. No wonder I felt like a timeout. I needed to see the error of my thinking and correct it with truth. It is better to have had it for a short while than not to have it at all. Besides, who told me that it will be taken again and why bother having it in the first place? Who have I been listening to? Whom have I followed? I’ve listen to the voices of Doubt, Disappointment and Fear.
They misguided me because of the troubles that have come and taken the good things my husband and I have been blessed with in Vancouver. We placed our house on the market and sold within twelve hours. We had to leave quickly that we didn’t have time to say good-bye to our friends. The move-out happened in less than two weeks from our return of our working travels. Our belongings were stuffed in storage and off we flew to Alaska to work again.
Now, we are homeless and have no idea where to plant our life and allow roots to grow. You see, I have lived in almost twenty places in thirty-five years of marriage which includes less than ten city moves and seven states covering from Texas to Maryland to Montana to Washington and now Alaska.
Do you see why I’m shy to knock and ask where should I be seeking residency? At the moment, we’re staying in an Airbnb in Alaska provided by my husband’s work. When he’s not working we’ll be staying with my daughter in Seattle, Washington.
I know once I knock on the door of heaven, it will be open. God will meet me and He will provide the answer. But, will it be the answer I seek? Or will He offer me the answer which is best to produce the fruits that are needed? I also know, that God will hand my husband and I not only what we need but gift us with more, with the purpose of sharing. All things do come from his storehouse and he will place the gifts into our hands for us and for us to share.
I understand. It’s not about finding residency, a house to call home or having a dwelling place. It’s about asking and seeking where does God want us, my husband and I to bear fruit. Like the devotional said, all of our persistent asking, seeking and knocking shows God that we are serious and sincere about our desire to bear fruits like John teaches.
John 15:16 “You have not chosen Me, I have chosen you. I have set you apart for the work of bringing in fruit. Your fruit should last. And whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give it to you.”
Am I ready to ask, seek and knock? I am. I’ve recognize the error of my ways, listening and believing the voices of Doubt, Disappointment and Fear instead of the voice of my Shepard, Jesus himself. I should trust Him with our future, my husbands and mine as a couple and mine as an individual.
Father, In Jesus name I come and ask to show me the way my husband and I should go and where to plant our lives to bear fruit, so that you can feed those who hunger after your precepts and desire to draw closer to you plus, to learn about your Son, the one who saves, died and rose again, Jesus, who conquered our sins, who forgives without our cost. for He paid it all. Thank you for choosing me. In Jesus name I ask, seek and knock. And in His name I wait to find a home to share of what God has in store for my husband and me.
Incase, you want to know why I try to post positive and uplifting words and scripture?
Because they are my personal road map to myself.
Otherwise, the negative, put down, and hindering voices make me doubt on where to head. When they come, they not only want to hang around, but navigate my life. Telling me to go back where I came from.
Often, I return to a previous post only to read what I have told myself, slamming the door on the voices of doubt, insecurity, fear and insignificance.
With the Lord’s confidence, I remind myself, I am no longer that small, timid, shrinking back latina girl.
More and more, I voice, “I am bold and courageous and daring. I’m a pillar of fire whom can’t easily be put out.
I know God has gifted me with the ability to express my thoughts and see beauty to photograph.
Through my photography I soar like an eagle as I explore where life takes me. At places where the Lord allows my feet to walk, His Spirit helps me see the beauty around.
I only need to listen and go where the light shines and the wind moves. There, I see what God wants me to see and I can’t wait to share my finds and words here with you.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. God bless each of you.
I don’t think so for the clock’s hand drop with each clicking sound.
Yet, patience lingers at a place that can’t be found.
In my waiting, I meditate on the word of God. Then I hear what I didn’t want to know.
Patience whispered, “I can produce my fruit in you, but first prepare your heart.”
LET’S BE FRUITFUL TODAY
But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]. Galatians 5:22-23 AMPC
We are a tree of multiple types of fruit, yet should we bloom all of these seeds at the same time? Every Day?
Well, for me, even though God has planted every one of these seed in me, they don’t all fruition daily.
Honestly, there are days, that kindness blossoms before I even blink. While, I turn blue waiting for patience to hurry up and show a little bit of her self. As for self-control, I’ve noticed the older I become the less blooms I find.
With fruitless days end, I’ve learned to ask myself, is nutrition missing from the soil of my heart? Because, I know God planted all these seeds within me, I’ve seen them bloom on many other occasions in days gone by.
Another question I ask, has my soil been wet with Living Water lately? If not, the soil could be parch and the seed could die or be choked by weeds or blown away, if exposed by today’s storm.
If my soul is good and moist, then I ask, has the Light been shinning over my soil? My heart needs the provision of Holy nutrition. Otherwise, righteousness will not grow godly fruit within me.
Can I bear all these godly fruits every day? Yes, but not by my power alone. Daily, maybe even hourly, I must bring my heart to God. For it may need more soil, water and light. But it’s my job to pluck the weeds out for all good things to grow and produce fruitfulness.
Let’s be a sweet aroma in our world today. Let’s tend to our garden in our hearts, for these seeds to be planted, grown and bloom fruitfulness in our lives. Then, a godly seed can fall into another’s heart.
I’m so glad Patience whispered that my heart needed some plucking.
Come close to God, for He will come close to you. Just be ready to hear, what you need to know.
Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery]. James 4:8 AMPC
FENCED, CHAINED AND LOCKED ~ Here is where I find myself more often than I want. The good thing is, it’s happening less and less as I discover what binds me down.
Many times I know what keeps me from escaping the prison I find myself in. It’s those darn fears, crippling insecurities, blinding doubts, and the cutting words of whom I’ve given power over me.
The question is what’s binding me today? Why can’t I get to where I want to be? Why is it that the work I honestly want to get done, seems impossible to reach?
It’s not all about the will, or the heart or even the mind that stops me. It’s what I’ve been told and have accepted as truth, which isn’t mine. The words which have been spoken over me, may have a ring of truth, but they have been dunk in the murky water of guilt and control.
Have you notice, that once you’ve accepted a truth from a love one, it weight you down? It may have not been noticeable right away, but in time you began to wonder, why am I moping around and not getting things done?
Then you give yourself that pep talk which has helped you before, but you find that it’s not working. As a faith person, you’ve cried out to God and ask him for help. Which He’s faithfulness never has let you down. Even so, the familiar pressure of the chain of hinderance wrap itself tighter and tighter around your mind, heart and eventually your soul. What do you do then?
Here is what I do, I pray and wait for God’s faithfulness to help me find what keeping in bondage. In the mean time I journal. If enlightenment of what weights me down doesn’t come, I call my mentor or a friend, whom knows my struggles and ask for prayer and insight.
Today, it was words, which held some truth but have been dunked in the murky water of guilt, jealousy, envy and control. I was made aware, to take responsibility of my neglects without the negativity that came with the truth.
What’s weighing you down? Why aren’t you able to accomplish the tasks you need to do or the projects you desire to do? Whom or what are you believing about your present self?
May you find the truth which unlocks the lock. May the chains of falsehood fall from your mind, heart and soul. But most important, may Truth set you free to take care of your responsibilities and to use your gift to your potential.
Normally, I’m living with the perspective of a halffull glass. It’s like this, in the mornings my glass is halffull with orange juice, by mid day its water, but by night its wine. Typically, I’m a happy, energetic and jolly woman.
In my meager moments, when life is darkly miserable and my sight is on the unfilled half of my glass and hope seems to be out of my reach, I run outside and pray.
It’s my way of placing my half empty soul by the fleeting candle light of the sun.
While I’m out, walking, hiking or just wondering, I talk to God and let him know just the way it is down here in the dungeon of life. In time, my cares flee and my focus is off my troubles and on what is around me.
Nature always sparks with her beauty and soon what is lovely, what is pure, what is true begins to reflect and transcends hope into my half empty life.
God always meets me where I’m at. He never disappoints, for He is always faithful.