On My Dark and Gloomy Mornings
Have you ever woken up miserable?
Where loneliness robed the feeling of “I’m forgotten?” When love is coldly foreign? When yesterday’s troubles play its death song and your feet march to its tempo as you go from the bed, to the bathroom, to the sofa?
Do you understand what I mean?
Well, let me give you one more description.
At the start of the day, yesterday’s burdens surface, chest concave, shoulders fall forward and chin lands on your chest. Before you know, your shoulders are greeting your knees. You lift your head slightly and the gym is nowhere in sight. It is then when you know, you are not stretching your limbs for your benefit. Unable to take a deep breath you sink lower dreading the day.
Yet, somehow, we must carry on with duties, responsibilities and live with a grateful heart. Really? Honestly? Let’s be real here. How?
I don’t know about you, but for me, that’s when light, movement or color captures my attention. It normally comes from low on the horizon or off the ground. Maybe because that’s where I’ve aimed my view.
Well, because of my state of mind, hurting heart or heavy soul, I don’t straighten up. I actually lower myself even more, to the point where I could hug my legs. It is then when I take a picture or two and something begins to shift inside of me.
The first change I notice happens in my thoughts, my focus is not on yesterday at all, it’s on the now, on what I’m seeing. Slowly my chin lifts off my chest.
Second thing which changes me, is an unexplainable joy. It begins to drip inside my heart. Each drop heals hurts, calms pains, clears my sight from worries and concerns. It is then when my posture begins to straighten and I look beyond myself.
Last, my surroundings remind me of truths; of priceless fortune, sparkling value and important significance. These truths mend my torn soul. Soon my shoulders are back and I smile because, I know, I matter.
But, I couldn’t have the changes happening in me if I couldn’t see the light, the movement and the color. But even if I didn’t notice these things, I wouldn’t know that I matter, if I didn’t believe on the truths of my own worth.
As long as I am alive, I have something to give to someone. I can hug, kiss, smile or speak a kind word. And if the day comes when I can’t do any of these, I pray that my face will remind anyone of what I use to be, do and give.
When, I’m at my lowest, I will continue to look for the light, movement and color. For they reveal a unique design outside and inside of me. Both perspectives point to riches for us to always seek.
May you find light, movement or color to remind you of your worth and significance. For you matter to me. Hugs and kisses. 😊