THE DESIRABLE ROAD AHEAD

Incase, you want to know why I try to post positive and uplifting words and scripture?

Because they are my personal road map to myself.

Otherwise, the negative, put down, and hindering voices make me doubt on where to head. When they come, they not only want to hang around, but navigate my life. Telling me to go back where I came from.

Often, I return to a previous post only to read what I have told myself, slamming the door on the voices of doubt, insecurity, fear and insignificance.

With the Lord’s confidence, I remind myself, I am no longer that small, timid, shrinking back latina girl.

More and more, I voice, “I am bold and courageous and daring. I’m a pillar of fire whom can’t easily be put out.

I know God has gifted me with the ability to express my thoughts and see beauty to photograph.

Through my photography I soar like an eagle as I explore where life takes me. At places where the Lord allows my feet to walk, His Spirit helps me see the beauty around.

I only need to listen and go where the light shines and the wind moves. There, I see what God wants me to see and I can’t wait to share my finds and words here with you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. God bless each of you.

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Conversing With Self

Hurry! Go.  My soul whispered.

I rushed to where the fire danced and popped. It seemed unreal. Mesmerized, I squatted. In my mind, I stepped into the cozy hot coals. The bitter winter cold vanished even though the ruby-red flames contrasted against the grand gray snowy mountains around me.

Sounds from people, family and friend diminished. Mesmerized by the fluorescent red coals, I existed alone. While the fire burned, I listened within myself.

Self: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Me: Yes, like a ruby melting and reforming. If only I could stay here and write.

Self: “What would you write about?”

Me: “I’m not sure, for I haven’t been able to continue writing my stories. Silent, they hang on the tips of the roof of my mind like ice-cycles. I’m afraid they will melt and vanish one day. I will be left with the knowledge that I once had unfinished stories.”

Self: “Why do you suppose, they are no longer speaking to you?”

Me: “Not sure. Many times, I’ve quiet myself and sat in front of my lap top and nothing, not one peep. The only sound I hear is of an unseen ocean with my beating heart out there drifting on a boat.”

Self: “Why have you distance your heart from your stories? What are you afraid of?”

Me: “I’ve not distant my heart, wait, do you think I did this? No, I didn’t place my heart out in the ocean.”

Self: “Lidia, be real. Be truthful. See, your heart. You are the only one who can place your heart out in the ocean. Look out there for the boat. Don’t look away. Your fear could be telling you truth. You are afraid of truth. That’s why you allowed your heart to drift from your stories.”

Me: “Fear lies.”

Self: “Not all fear lies. This fear of yours is true. You’re not a good writer. Yet you are a good story-teller. Focus on the story, Lidia, just like your friends tell you.”

Me: “I’m tired of not writing well. I want to have a well written story, but my enthusiasm dies too soon after I get started.”

Self: “You have to learn to keep writing when the energy of the idea runs out. Don’t allow your story to become foreign to your own heart. Keep it close to you, pluck scenarios, story lines, details, thoughts and feelings of the character even if they may never make into the story. You have to keep the story alive. That’s your job. It’s your baby. If you don’t feed it, it will vanish. Now, start the fire and allow your story ice-cycles to melt and flow again. You have been given a gift to tell stories like no one else. Write and let someone else correct your errors. You will not create a perfect story. No one can, not alone. But you can crank on your generator.”

Me: “But, my fingers won’t move.”

Self: “Yes, your finger and thoughts will be stiff because of the cold of not being perfect. But, in no time the heat will get going and your thoughts will flow the story will breath and pump red blood again. Once it thaws out, details will drop into your mind as the ice-cycle melts. Get the page ready to catch the ideas. Remember, as you keep telling stories, your writing will become stronger.”

Me: “Thank you, for the talk.”

Self: “Don’t worry, I will remind you again, when I see that you’ve removed your heart for your stories. You are not just writing for others, but for me, self.”

Footsteps crunched the snow behind me. I came back to my surroundings. I heard my husband distant voice, “Are you coming and sledding or are you staying.”

With a smile, I answered, “I’m coming.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I started this blog back in December, and it wasn’t until today that I was able to finish it. It’s a major accomplishment for me. I’ve struggled with my writing for over a year. There are at least twelve unfinished stories on my files and I can’t seem to finish any one of them. From this self-reflection, I’ve learned that it wasn’t fear that kept me from my stories, instead it was truth.

Writing my blog posts, have been a great exercise to build my confidence and improve my writing skills. With short entries, I have less misspell words, less grammar errors and less wrong word usage. I still get wordy, but my skills are improving alongside my belief in my abilities to give what’s in my heart a voice.

To write a book, it’s much more challenging and difficult than a blog. But, if I can treat each couple of pages as a blog post, I might get myself going again and finish my next book. Now which of the twelve stories should I start constructing again?

Maybe, I will blog about my journey as I write my next book.

To be continued . . .

 

 

 

 

The Dangers of holding Yourself Back

Stifling Dreams Create Nightmares

What talent am I suffocating, because of what if it takes off?

What ability am I quenching, because of what others may think of me?

What inspiration am I killing, because of what if it succeed?

Stifling our creativity harms not only ourselves, but those whom would have benefited from our work.

In a sense, we are not only killing our growth by withholding inspiration from the world around us, but we are keeping ourselves in the darkness of hopelessness.

Breakthroughs from stifle thinking, not only brings dreams alive, but give light for many other souls to hope again through our gifts, talents and works.

Be creative, spread insight, possibilities and imagination.

Allow your dream to take flight.

Fenced, Chained and Locked

FENCED, CHAINED AND LOCKED ~ Here is where I find myself more often than I want. The good thing is, it’s happening less and less as I discover what binds me down.

Many times I know what keeps me from escaping the prison I find myself in. It’s those darn fears, crippling insecurities, blinding doubts, and the cutting words of whom I’ve given power over me.

The question is what’s binding me today? Why can’t I get to where I want to be? Why is it that the work I honestly want to get done, seems impossible to reach?

It’s not all about the will, or the heart or even the mind that stops me. It’s what I’ve been told and have accepted as truth, which isn’t mine. The words which have been spoken over me, may have a ring of truth, but they have been dunk in the murky water of guilt and control.

Have you notice, that once you’ve accepted a truth from a love one, it weight you down? It may have not been noticeable right away, but in time you began to wonder, why am I moping around and not getting things done?

Then you give yourself that pep talk which has helped you before, but you find that it’s not working. As a faith person, you’ve cried out to God and ask him for help. Which He’s faithfulness never has let you down. Even so, the familiar pressure of the chain of hinderance wrap itself tighter and tighter around your mind, heart and eventually your soul. What do you do then?

Here is what I do, I pray and wait for God’s faithfulness to help me find what keeping in bondage. In the mean time I journal. If enlightenment of what weights me down doesn’t come, I call my mentor or a friend, whom knows my struggles and ask for prayer and insight.

Today, it was words, which held some truth but have been dunked in the murky water of guilt, jealousy, envy and control. I was made aware, to take responsibility of my neglects without the negativity that came with the truth.

What’s weighing you down? Why aren’t you able to accomplish the tasks you need to do or the projects you desire to do? Whom or what are you believing about your present self?

May you find the truth which unlocks the lock. May the chains of falsehood fall from your mind, heart and soul. But most important, may Truth set you free to take care of your responsibilities and to use your gift to your potential.

God bless you.

 

Paths of Self Discovery

Along the path you will discover that you too can flee away from danger. Listen and be aware.

When one must turn back along the path take time to reflect. Keep the good and leave the bad.

Choices exist of where to walk on any path. Either choice brought you from and took you to the same place, the uniqueness of who you are.

Cee’s Which Way Photo Challenge

 

 

Where Are You?

Sometimes is not about what is near or far

Or the sky or the ground below

But, about where you are

Funneling yourself to

Look around

Not with your eyes

But with your heart.

What do you see?

Can you paint it?

Draw it?

Sing a song about it?

Maybe write a poem

or a short insert of realism

Now that you’ve seen with your heart

Touch it with your soul

What colors will you paint with?

What grays will make the lines and curves?

What melody will rise and fall?

What mood will the words create?

What truth will you be able to say?

Remember, it’s not always about what

Is near or far, above or below

But where you are presently living

Or have you run and hide

To not be hurt or heard

PLEASE! Return

Come and create

Then, I can

See you,

Hear you

Feel you

While I take

time to be

With you

A Box Marked – For Later

I keep a box in my heart and I almost used it today.

This morning my body whispered, “It’s a good day to stay in bed and sleep a little longer.” But the morning fog pulled me outside where I came face to face with a fear I haven’t over come. It was then when I realized, why I wanted to stay in bed.

Outside, I enjoyed the cool morning air, imagined itsy, bitsy snowflakes lingering about me and took a few pictures before returned home.

With the fear in mind, the end of a topic came to  mind. No beginning or middle, only the end. What ever I was about to write, it will end with acknowledging my fear.

I started my creative writing process. A short post on Instagram, editing  photos, and brain stormed topics for future projects while I ate my breakfast.

Before I sat down to write, I took care of a few shores and thought of how I should start the topic at hand, fear.

But, the idea didn’t develop.

Fist thought was, I’m procrastinating or writers’ block. Soon, I realized,  it was me, I didn’t want to write about the cause of my fear, because it was to real and fresh. I rather tuck it away in my “For later,” mental box.

When, would it be best to write about this topic?

Well, when my jitters would calm and the lump of fear in my throat has been swallowed and digested. Or after the winter snow has melted. Which ever comes first.

In side the ‘Later box,’ are many subjects which I’ refuse to write about. Why? Because, I’m not ready to experience the pain or disappointment again.

Yet, in order to write a compelling, moving piece, the struggle has to be real, not made up. Which means, I have to revisit the pain, the conflict, the experience to give my words life and spring forth feelings in the reader’s heart.

A well written piece, engages the reader’s mind, taps into their feelings and moves their heart. If I accomplish these difficult skills well, then I hope the reader could find resolution for similar circumstances.

Numerous times, I’ve started to write what’s on my heart only to never  finish the article or story. It hangs frozen in my mind. With time it’s forgotten.

Today, I didn’t want this topic to end in the box. So I asked myself a question.

Why do I abandon my ideas?

I  refuse to give a voice to my past struggles, hurts and pain out of fear that they may cripple me again. I remind myself, of who I believe in and how much stronger I am because of Christ in my life.

Remembering the past, is like reliving my life experiences, which some  of those memories, I rather forget. 

Yet, I’m learning that my sufferings have melodies whom some people can identify with. The areas which I’ve grown stronger could possibly help a reader moved forward from their struggle. Once, they understood how they too can face their fears or past hurts with the right help.

Hope, is important for the reader to regain. Therefor, I must have, a beginning, a middle and an end to show how to prevail as one hold on to hope.

Questions I ask myself today:

What am I really afraid of? And why?

Am  I comparing myself with anyone? Is it beneficial?

 

If yes, how did they get where they are?

What struggles did they faced to achieve their reward?

If, I focus only on their success, I’ve missed the essence of their story.

The same is true when I write my stories. If I only write about happiness, I left the reader dissatisfied. For they know, life is not all sweet.  Life is about the challenges as one pursuits happiness.

For we all are seeking ways to surpass, overcome, or hold on. We want to know how to get up when everything within us tells us to sleep our life away for we don’t matter.

One must understand and swallow the bitterness of doing what one doesn’t want to do in order to bring forth the sweetness of success.

I’m ready to seek not only for a strong engaging beginning, but a middle which the reader can identify with and a tangible, realistic, possible ending.

I, as the writer, must face the middle of my work and walk through he treacherous, dark and lonely times without fearing the end. The success of accomplishment.

With that being written, I‘m glad I started my day when I did, or else I wouldn’t have finished this blog today.

What about you, my friend? Where did you find yourself this morning, later in the day or maybe this evening? What were you avoiding and why? Are you willing to search your soul and face the truth? Don’t forget to call on God for help.

If you’re still in your robe, pick up your will and accomplish one thing. May that one task lead to another and then another and another. if not today, maybe tomorrow. Before you know, you’ll arrived at the end  of your task, and have faced your fear.

I acknowledge, I wasn’t avoiding pain, I was afraid of success.

Even though, I belief that I can do all things through Christ who strengths me, I still struggle with being successful.

I not only acknowledge what I’m afraid of, but I didn’t hide it away.

Without a doubt, I will finish my stories.  

Maybe, this article will act as a compass for you and guide you to arrive to your truth of why you are not getting out of bed in the mornings or finishing your project.

What are you avoiding?

UNTANGLE

🍁UNTANGLE🍁
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What ever or who ever tries to entangle you in their cold, prickly day, remain calm, think clearly and don’t allow their circumstance to steal the beauty of your soul.
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Terrific Tuesday

Go Ahead ~ Taste the goodness, savor the sweetness, pucker your lips from the sour flavor, and if bitterness comes run and find the goodness and sweetness of your day.

Be Ready ~ Like a sunrise, change happens and it might happen fast. It can’t be stopped. See it as the beginning of a new event. It’s up to us on how we’ll react to what comes our way.

Keep In Mind ~ The ONE person we can control is ourselves.