I keep a box in my heart and I almost used it today.
This morning my body whispered, “It’s a good day to stay in bed and sleep a little longer.” But the morning fog pulled me outside where I came face to face with a fear I haven’t over come. It was then when I realized, why I wanted to stay in bed.
Outside, I enjoyed the cool morning air, imagined itsy, bitsy snowflakes lingering about me and took a few pictures before returned home.
With the fear in mind, the end of a topic came to mind. No beginning or middle, only the end. What ever I was about to write, it will end with acknowledging my fear.
I started my creative writing process. A short post on Instagram, editing photos, and brain stormed topics for future projects while I ate my breakfast.
Before I sat down to write, I took care of a few shores and thought of how I should start the topic at hand, fear.
But, the idea didn’t develop.
Fist thought was, I’m procrastinating or writers’ block. Soon, I realized, it was me, I didn’t want to write about the cause of my fear, because it was to real and fresh. I rather tuck it away in my “For later,” mental box.
When, would it be best to write about this topic?
Well, when my jitters would calm and the lump of fear in my throat has been swallowed and digested. Or after the winter snow has melted. Which ever comes first.
In side the ‘Later box,’ are many subjects which I’ refuse to write about. Why? Because, I’m not ready to experience the pain or disappointment again.
Yet, in order to write a compelling, moving piece, the struggle has to be real, not made up. Which means, I have to revisit the pain, the conflict, the experience to give my words life and spring forth feelings in the reader’s heart.
A well written piece, engages the reader’s mind, taps into their feelings and moves their heart. If I accomplish these difficult skills well, then I hope the reader could find resolution for similar circumstances.
Numerous times, I’ve started to write what’s on my heart only to never finish the article or story. It hangs frozen in my mind. With time it’s forgotten.
Today, I didn’t want this topic to end in the box. So I asked myself a question.
Why do I abandon my ideas?
I refuse to give a voice to my past struggles, hurts and pain out of fear that they may cripple me again. I remind myself, of who I believe in and how much stronger I am because of Christ in my life.
Remembering the past, is like reliving my life experiences, which some of those memories, I rather forget.
Yet, I’m learning that my sufferings have melodies whom some people can identify with. The areas which I’ve grown stronger could possibly help a reader moved forward from their struggle. Once, they understood how they too can face their fears or past hurts with the right help.
Hope, is important for the reader to regain. Therefor, I must have, a beginning, a middle and an end to show how to prevail as one hold on to hope.
Questions I ask myself today:
What am I really afraid of? And why?
Am I comparing myself with anyone? Is it beneficial?
If yes, how did they get where they are?
What struggles did they faced to achieve their reward?
If, I focus only on their success, I’ve missed the essence of their story.
The same is true when I write my stories. If I only write about happiness, I left the reader dissatisfied. For they know, life is not all sweet. Life is about the challenges as one pursuits happiness.
For we all are seeking ways to surpass, overcome, or hold on. We want to know how to get up when everything within us tells us to sleep our life away for we don’t matter.
One must understand and swallow the bitterness of doing what one doesn’t want to do in order to bring forth the sweetness of success.
I’m ready to seek not only for a strong engaging beginning, but a middle which the reader can identify with and a tangible, realistic, possible ending.
I, as the writer, must face the middle of my work and walk through he treacherous, dark and lonely times without fearing the end. The success of accomplishment.
With that being written, I‘m glad I started my day when I did, or else I wouldn’t have finished this blog today.
What about you, my friend? Where did you find yourself this morning, later in the day or maybe this evening? What were you avoiding and why? Are you willing to search your soul and face the truth? Don’t forget to call on God for help.
If you’re still in your robe, pick up your will and accomplish one thing. May that one task lead to another and then another and another. if not today, maybe tomorrow. Before you know, you’ll arrived at the end of your task, and have faced your fear.
I acknowledge, I wasn’t avoiding pain, I was afraid of success.
Even though, I belief that I can do all things through Christ who strengths me, I still struggle with being successful.
I not only acknowledge what I’m afraid of, but I didn’t hide it away.
Without a doubt, I will finish my stories.
Maybe, this article will act as a compass for you and guide you to arrive to your truth of why you are not getting out of bed in the mornings or finishing your project.
What are you avoiding?