Woke-up Apprehensive

Lord, calm my troubled spirit.

Apprehension woke me. Why? I had no clue.

When my spirit sends alarming signals before my brain fully awakes, panic usually follows. Worry sketched out memories of past hurts, disappoints or troubled times. Like a bulging suitcase, those experiences erupted screams in my head, causing a migraine. Before I knew it, they run rampant like rudely, undisciplined children. Past disasters resurrected, wracking my morning with darkness. I didn’t want to face the day.

In a prayer, I sent and SOS to the Lord before worry dresses my heart with apprehension. But panic opened the gate and I began to wonder, what have I forgotten to take care, which child is facing hardships, or will an  old issue poke its head to destroy the peace and joy I have?

I wondered, why was my spirit troubled?

Then I asked the Lord, “What should I have done to prevent this unsettling feeling within me? Would being more watchful over my self instead of others, praying instead of playing, listening instead of photographing nature, time meditating instead of social media?

Something within me said, you should have been more astute. Astute, is not a word I use. I knew it was the Holy Spirit talking. I looked up the word, for I really didn’t know what it ment.

Then I heard, “Prepare yourself for the turbulence that’s coming.”

I asked, ” Lord, is this message from you?”

A confirming feeling came over me. Then, I knew why my soul was troubled.

The unpacked past issues came to mind again. I couldn’t stop them from painting their sketched images and adding a new possible scenario. Once, I sat down to journal the annoying voices were hushed away.

I was thankful, my Lord warned me or else apprehension would have come along and chained me with the heaviness of fear and the cloud of confusion.

A question entered my mind, is this really from God?

I stopped writing, I prayed, if this message is from you Lord, keep me astute, Then I will be watchful and ask you to help me when worry, apprehension, anxiety, confusion and fear crowd to enter my mind and fall into my heart. Please don’t allow me to become crippled by these hindrances and enslave me again.

After my prayer, my room became brighter as if the sky became bluer and the morning sun shined bright into the space I sat. Yet, the light gray blanket of clouds covered the sky and blocked the sun. Then I felt a warmth, much like the sun in summer landing on my back.

I told myself, if God permitted this disturbance to come my way today for my growth. Then I reminded myself of who held me, Jesus, He will protect and guide me as I lived on. Then the Holy Spirit led me to the verse in Philippians 2:13  “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

Today, May 6, I remind myself, trust God’s process, remain faithful and give no room for doubt or fear to reign. As soon as they show their presence, run to Jesus for help.

Fear was a god in my life, who I would obey without me realizing it. I listened and reacted to its triggers. But now those triggers send me to Jesus.

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Holding Hope

HOLDING HOPE
Yes
I know
You’re tire
No
Don’t you
Give up
Listen
Hear me
No
Don’t dare
Close your
Eyes
Keep them
Open
I know
You rather
Sleep and
Dream
Even though
Nightmares
Also
Exist 
In dreamland
Hold on
To what
I’ve placed
In your hand
You will 
Be fine
Again
No no
Don’t slip
From here
I can read
Your eyes
Feel your heart
Hear your
Thoughts
You rather
Give up
You’re 
Exhausted
In pain
Hold on
To what
I’ve given
You
I promise
I’m on may
To you
Keep
Your focus
On the horizon
When
Darkness 
Engulfs the day
Find the
Smallest light
Follow it
It’s me
Coming 
Towards 
You
For now
Be there
For me
My love 
Live
Hold hope
Close
Don’t 
Let it
Leave
You
~~💜~~

When A Massive Wave Comes

WHEN A MASSIVE WAVE COMES

Living His Word

Our God, punish those people. We don’t have the strength to stop this large army that is coming against us. We don’t know what to do! We are looking to you for help.”

2Chronicles 20:13 ERV

When one receives a blow of shock, disappointment, betrayal, challenging time or difficult news to heavy to bear it’s like a massive wave over us. Its power smashes us against a boulder, which can’t be move, and leaves us powerless.

When hours, days, months maybe even years passed and the boulder is still sitting there, we come to a place again and again of not knowing what to do.

From nowhere another blow has knocked out our wind, our strength, our stamina to fight. We can’t stop what’s coming against us. For the boulder has trapped us.

We then feel alone and totally helpless. Feelings and thoughts overwhelm us and we become powerless to fight the enemy of our mind, our will and at times our belief.

Then we hear a whisper, like a soft warm wind, reminding us, “It’s not your battle to fight. Do what you must. Do what you can. Then do what I’ve told you. Rest and trust in me, your Lord and Savior.

I will stop this large army which has come against you. Will you take my hand and believe that I am watching over you?

Don’t forget of those people who I’ve placed along side you. They are part of my army. They too will be fighting for you in prayer. Surround yourself with my people.

Don’t remove yourself, then cry wolf, as if you are all alone. For you are never alone. I am with you. When you are with your brothers and sisters in Christ, you will feel me there.

Don’t turn away from my ways or from me, look to me for my help. Take my hand and I will bear this burden with you until this storm passes.

As for the boulder, it’s a reminder of my power in your life. It will remain where it has been placed. In the past.

Remember, the past can return and bring a storm. If and when it does, it should draw you even closer to me than before. For we have a history together. Don’t allow the storm to wash you away from me.

I’ll fight the enemy which your eyes can’t see, which destroys the human spirit and imprisons souls.

I will fight the wind which whips you away from me. I will cover you with my hands.

I will fight for you, my child, when you can’t see any one else beside you.

Come, trust in me again, take a hold of my promises and follow me. Always, look towards me for help.”

May the Lord bless his word and his people.

Where Do You Fall When all Fails?

WHEN ALL FAILS, I FAINT INTO HIS LOVING ARMS

 

When my head and heart are between blinding clouds; and my present day and future are beyond my understanding, I faint in the arms of the one who sustain me, my Lord Jesus Christ.

 

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Ps. 62:7

 

His promises fruition in my heart and are sent to my mind and joy does greet me in the morning.

Mornings aren’t always when the sun rises. They are the times when I totally relax in my Lord’s arms, trusting Him with all my needs, as I believe in God, who guards my soul, my spirit and my heart. 

A Faint Nudge

In spite of hard morning rains and foggy afternoons, my heart’s boat behaved as if it was on calm waters.

For several weeks, my soul and spirit have been at peace, even though my future is obscured among the clouds of uncertainty. This tranquility has made life manageable and bearable in spite of the challenges of an unknown course ahead of me.

I can’t make a well thought out plan. A compass is a must, especially when traveling in a mist, which doesn’t allow me to see beyond my own nose.

For me that compass is the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, I’m clueless of how to behave when I face misguiding shadows which come in and out of view. It is then when I must be watchful for fear and doubt will try to climb aboard my boat.

I will pray for a soft nudge of assurance. It will float me away from worry and concern. Calmly, I must ride and wait, not making any waves. Even though, I don’t know what to expect.

Today, the fog has lifted and the heavenly stars shine.

I wear a smile for I like where I find myself. For my Jesus is slowly revealing a plan.

With a joyful heart, I thanked God for not allowing me to lose my way in those hazy days.